Au Revoir, Basse Estime De Moi
by Mischief16
Summary: Originally called Au Revoir Bas Manquer de Confiance en Soi Selfconfidence and selfesteem was low in Lily Evans. She scoffed at her friends when they called her beautiful and laughed bittersweetly at James Potter when he called her an angel that came dow
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't any of J.K. Rowling's character.

"Misery"

Lily Evans, a seventeen year old witch entering her seventh and last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was standing in the shower her body trembling and her eyes were pink from all those salty tear that seem to just well up in her eyes and fall out ad infinitum. She gentle rinsed out her soapy hair and massaged her bruised arm.

Once again Lily's father had gotten drunk and hit Lily causing her upper left arm to form a rather nasty bruise. He yelled at her for no apparent reason and called her ugly and not worthy of being loved. She cried harder. Her own father had made her lose the little bit of confidence she had left in her. She knew her father didn't mean to hurt her, but every since her mother's death the only thing her father seem able to do was get wasted. Lily never told anyone, not even her two best friends of her problem with her father. She wanted to keep it a secret.

Lily finished washing herself and before she reached for her towel she quickly rinsed her face to erase the fact that she had cried. Lily turned off the water and quickly grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her. She stared at the mirror in the bathroom and couldn't to see anything beautiful about the girl that stared back at her. Lily couldn't see the beauty that looked back at her. All she saw was an ugly, redhead girl with freckles that sprinkled her nose.

Lily sighed, dropped her gaze from the mirror, and dried herself. She left her bathroom and entered her bedroom. Her trunk full of her school stuff was on top of her bed including two suitcases full of extra clothes for her stay at her best friend, Allie's house. Water dropped from her hair and on to the floor as she walked to her closet and scanned her massive closet full of clothes. She than looked at her nasty bruise on her arm and sighed. She had to wear something to conceal that. Lily grabbed a black skirt and a green halter top to match. She slipped it on and dried her hair.

Lily than slipped out of her room and into her father's room. He was lying on the bed completely out. His chest lifted up and down slowly and his breathing was even. Lily walked over to him and sat down in the chair next to him. She stared at his sleeping figure. She than looked at the picture of her mother on the table next to the bed. She picked it up and traced her finger around her mother. Emotions welled up in Lily's chest.

"Daddy, I miss her too," Lily whispered softly it could barely be heard.

Her father grunted in his sleep and turned over. Alcohol showered his breath. Lily knew that when he woke up he would have an awful hangover. Lily placed the photo back down. She got up from her seat, leaned over, and kissed his forehead.

"I love you."

She placed a note telling him where she was going to be on the table next to his bed. She quietly walked out and shut the door.

Lily entered her room and grabbed a thin sweater from her closet to hide the bruise. She zipped it up halfway. Lily grabbed a pair of flip flops from her closet and put them on. She than grabbed her stuff she was bringing to Allie's house and apparated leaving behind the misery her father had put on her unintentionally just before.

A/N: Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Once again I don't own any of the HP characters, even though I wish I did.

"Back Together"

Lily landed gently in Allie's bedroom. Lily shook her head to get the spinning to stop. She never could get use to the feeling of apparating.

"Lily!" a cheery voice exclaimed.

Before Lily could get ready for the impact a petite, blonde hair beauty knocked her off balanced into a big hug. Lily dropped her bags on the floor and returned the affectionate hug forgetting about what had happened just before in her gloomy house. She smiled at her over excited friend. Allie pulled back from the hug and was wearing a joyous expression.

"I missed you so much," Allie told her, "I've just noticed that without you and Alice I have nothing, I mean nothing to do."

"It was _that_ boring!" Allie exclaimed dramatically.

Lily laughed, "I missed you to Allie."

"I know you did," Allie said teasingly and smiled at Lily.

She than grabbed Lily's trunk and attempted to move it towards one of the beds.

"You don't mind if all three of us share a room, do you?" Allie asked while trying to budge the trunk.

"What do you have in here?"

"It's so heavy." Allie pulled and pulled, but it was no use.

"I don't mind," Lily told her. "Alice isn't here yet?" she asked, staring around at the huge room before her eyes.

"No, not yet," Allie gasped out of breathe, "She'll be here in a couple of minutes."

Lily stared at Allie struggling with her trunk and decided to give her a hand.

"_Locomotor,_" Lily said, swishing her wand and placed her trunk on top of the bed she chose.

Allie stood there stupidly and said, "Oh, yeah…I forgot we could do magic outside of school." She laughed sheepishly. Lily laughed.

"Omph!" a voice exclaimed from the fireplace now full of scattered Floo powder.

Lily and Allie turned around and saw Alice, their other best friend sitting on her butt looking painfully at them. Alice got up from her spot and grabbed her bags on the floor.

"Hey Alice," Lily and Allie greeted. They ran up to her to give her a hug, which Alice returned it.

"My butt hurts," she told them, making Lily and Allie laughed.

They soon broke apart, but not before Alice complained about not being able to pass her apparition test because she left behind her left eyebrow and how she hated traveling by Floo. Lily and Allison laughed at the memory.

"It's not a laughing matter," Alice pouted.

Allie and Lily stopped laughing, but couldn't keep it in especially since Alice was sticking her lips out and tried doing the puppy eyes.

At her fail attempt to make her two best friends from laughing at her Alice dragged her bags to her bed and sat there staring at them.

"You know if that test director guy didn't have to be so careful I would have passed that test," she said.

"Yeah, but than if you got your apparation license I would find your body parts everywhere," Allie teased.

"Ha, ha," Alice laughed sarcastically.

"I know."

Alice rolled her eyes at Allie's response, but a smile tugged at her lips.

"Oh, come on, Alice, you know you missed us," Lily said smiling.

"Okay, maybe a little," Alice said giving in and easing up a little bit.

"But do you know who you missed more?" Allie asked.

"Who?" Alice asked curiously.

Allie looked at Lily and they looked back at Alice, who was looking at them with raised eyebrows.

"Frank," they sang together simultaneously and ran for there lives.

Alice chased after them begging them to stop it.

"He'll hear you!" she begged.

"Who'll hear?" a male's voice said behind Alice. The girls froze where they were. Lily and Allie turned to each other laughing silently. Their bodies trembled with laughter. They glanced at Alice to see her reaction and saw that she was beet red making them laugh even more.

Alice turned around and saw Frank Longbottom, Allie's twin brother and her long time crush, standing behind her wearing an amused face.

"Oh…um… know one," Alice said.

"Oh, I see," Frank said. "Well, it was nice to see you," he said to her. Then, he waved to Lily who greeted him back. Frank walked back into his room.

Alice turned back to her two best friends and groaned. They laughed, walked back towards her, grabbed her arm one on each side, and together they walked back into Allie's room and closed the door to catch up on the times they weren't together.

A/N: hope you liked it! Please review! James will be in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of the brilliant J.K. Rowling!

"This Is the Year"

Lily's last week of vacation at Allie's house can only be described as perfect. Lily wouldn't trade it in for the world. Spending a whole week with two of the most important people in her life was more than anything to cover up for the dreadful beginning of the summer.

The alarm rang the next morning at exactly eight. Allie groggily peaked her head above the covers, pressed the off button, and groaned.

"Who set the clock so early?" she groaned, "It's too early to be awake."

Lily waved off the question and continued to leave her eyes shut. Alice on the other hand sat up on bed and rubbed her eyes, trying to wake herself, but failing desperately.

"Why are we awake so early again?" Allie asked no one in particular.

"Hogwarts," Alice answered.

Allie's eyes widened up immediately. Alice looked at her. Than together they ran for the bathroom door like their life depended on it. The two of them got stuck in the door way trying to get pass one another.

"I got here first, Alice!" Allie exclaimed.

"No, I did!" Alice argued. They struggled some more.

"Not fair," Allie whined, "I get the shower first you take to long."

"Allie, you're the one that takes too long!" retorted Alice.

"Oh yeah!" Allie replied as she stopped struggling to get into the shower.

Alice at once used to her advantage of Allie's temporary oblivion, pushed Allie out of the way, and shut the bathroom door in her face. Before Allie could do anything Alice had clicked the door shut and Allie was force to complain while Alice took a nice, refreshing shower.

Allie groaned and whined outside the door. She banged on the bathroom door hoping Alice would open up, no luck.

"Now I'll never be able to get ready in time!" she cried. "Lily, are you listening?"

"Lily?"

A groan came from underneath the green covers. Allie went over and untangled the cover to discover Lily still quite asleep. Allie laughed. She shook Lily, nothing. She pulled on her blanket, nothing. Finally, Allie went to the last resort, tickling.

"Ahhhh!" Lily screamed jumping out of her bed, "Stop, please!"

Allie laughed at Lily. Lily rubbed at her eyes.

"I'm so tired!" Lily complained, but Allie wasn't listening. Allie was now at the bathroom door listening to Alice take her time while humming. Allie banged on the door.

"Alice, hurry up!"

The door opened and Alice came out in her towel. Her brown hair was wet and she smelled of strawberries.

"I'm out," Alice said.

Allie didn't wait to reply. She quickly rushed in to the bathroom for her turn.

"Morning, Lils," Alice greeted.

Lily stifled a yawned and mumbled a morning. Alice looked through her clothes looking for something decent to wear for the beginning of her last year at Hogwarts.

"Can you believe this is our last year?" Alice asked Lily.

Lily looked at her than answered with a sad, "No, it seems so surreal."

"It seems just like yesterday that we were just standing there on line waiting to be sorted."

"I know," Alice said. "I wished this wasn't our last."

Lily nodded. Alice went back to find an outfit and Lily tried to wake up a little bit more.

"That shower was nice!" Allie exclaimed coming out of the shower.

"Lily, you're turn."

Lily got up from her bed and tiredly walked into the shower. She closed the door, quickly undressed, and stepped into the shower. She turned on the water and gasped when the cold water touched her skin. However, she quickly got use to it and took a refreshing shower.

By the time Lily got out of the shower Alice and Allie were downstairs eating breakfast. Lily quickly got dressed and dried her hair. She walked down the stairs, greeted Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom and Frank.

At half to eleven the girls helped washed the dishes, bid goodbye, and rushed upstairs to get their things. Lily and Allie got ready to apparate, but Alice just stood there looking at them.

"How am I supposed to get there?" Alice asked them frowning.

Lily and Allie looked at each other.

"You wouldn't mind side-apparation would you?" Lily asked.

"No," Alice said.

Lily stretched out her hand. Alice grabbed hold of it and the next thing she knew she was standing on Platform 9¾.

Allie and Alice grabbed their trunks and rolled it forward, but Lily stood there soaking in the site and people. This was really the last time she'll ever take the Hogwarts' train to, well, Hogwarts. Lily's eyes darted from one end of the platform to the other passing first year students, friends catching up with each other, a guy leaning against a wall…

Lily eyes flew back to the guy she just passes. She couldn't believe. It was James Potter. She didn't even recognize him at first. James grew a couple more inches, he was more built, and he wasn't causing any mayhem. Lily stood there gaping at him. Lily didn't know how she knew, but she knew somehow James had changed, more mature in a way.

James felt eyes on him and scanned the crowd; finally, he laid eyes on his long time infatuation Lily Evans. She was staring at him and inwardly James smiled. He had caught her attention. Lily looked at him looking at her and James smiled a small smile at her. It was a smile that wasn't haughty or anything, but all sincere. Lily looked at him puzzled before Allie came along and pulled her along.

James knew it! He knew it the moment Lily stopped and stared at him that this was his year. The year he was, finally, going to win the girl of his dreams. James had the urged to run his hand through his already messy, black hair, but he stopped himself remember what Lily thought about it.

_You think it's so cool playing with the snitch and running your fingers through your head. I'm surprised you could even fly with that oversized, egoistical head on your broom!_

James snapped out of his flashback and starred at the train. This was really the last year.

"Prongs, you okay?" Sirius asked tapping James on the shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine," James answered.

James pulled his trunk along and walked on to the train. This was the year.

A/N: Hoped you liked this chapter. Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I truly do wish I owned Harry Potter and everything involving it, but I don't.

JKR owns it!

"No Way!"

James and Sirius pulled open the compartment door in one of the compartments in the back of the train. There sat their two other best friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

At the sight of James and Sirius, Remus and Peter smiled. They all greeted each other enthusiastically.

"How was summer?" James asked Remus.

"Pretty good," answered Remus.

"Full moon, okay?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, boring without you guys there with me though," he answered truthfully.

"No worries, we're back," Peter piped in, to which Remus nodded gratefully.

There they sat enjoying each other's company catching up on each other's summer.

James' POV

_It's good to be back._

He looked over at his three best pals and smiled. It was definitely good to be back.

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Lily, Allie, and Alice was looking for an open compartment, which was always hard to find, finally founding one in the back of the train.

"Finally, my legs are killing me!" Allie cried.

She sat down and stretched her legs out so that Alice and Lily had to sit across from her. Lily gazed outside the window passing the fields of grass. She sighed.

"What's wrong, Lils?" Alice asked. Allie sat up from her position.

Lily looked her two best friends.

"It's just so sad. This is our last year at Hogwarts. What if we never see each other again after this? What if something bad happens? I just can't stand the thought of losing you guys. I just don't want to grow up right now and move outside of Hogwarts with all this bad crap happening outside in the real world. I'm so scared."

"Oh, Lily!" Allie exclaimed rushing over to her friend's side. "Don't worry about a thing."

"We'll be here for you, for all of us," comforted Alice. Lily looked at them and nodded.

"It's the thought you know of living in the world right now. With You-Know- Who out there and his Death Eaters, I don't know if I'll lose anyone I care about anytime soon."

"I know," Allie said. She hugged Lily.

"No matter what we'll be here for each other," Alice said, "we just can't lose each other."

Lily nodded.

"I agree because what would you guys be without me," joked Allie.

Lily and Alice smiled. They hugged each other reassuring each other. Friendship could barely describe their relationship. They were more like sisters.

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James glanced at his watch. He got up his Head Boy badge.

"Where are you going?" Remus asked.

"Prefect meeting," James said not looking up from pinning his badge to his robe.

"No way!" Peter exclaimed.

"That's what I said," Sirius said, "No one in the right mind would make Prongs Head Boy."

"Dumbledore might be a genius, but I pretty sure he's a bit mad," laughed James.

"He must have a reason to have made you a Head Boy," Remus said.

"I guess," he replied.

James slid open the door.

"Prongs," Remus said, "congratulations."

James nodded thanks and left smiling and a little nervous. His stomach was churning, and he was sure there must be butterflies flapping around down there.

James slid opened the door of the Head's compartment and there sat lovely Miss Evans. Lily head turned towards the door at the sound of it opening. Her red hair shone in the sunlight as it was threw back. Her beautiful, almond shaped, emerald eyes shined brilliantly. James swallowed. He felt hot around the collar. She was as gorgeous as she was the year before, maybe even more.

"No way!" Lily exclaimed at the sight of James Potter. Her eyes flew to the Head Boy badge attached to his robe. She looked at James.

"Is this for real?" she asked just in case she was dreaming.

Lily's POV

_Someone pinch me._

James nodded, walked into the compartment, and closed the door shut. Lily got up still a little shock that the least likely person to be Head Boy was actually, well, Head Boy.

"Evans, congratulations," James said offering his hand for her to shake when all he really wanted to do was hold her in his arms, to never let go.

Lily took it and shook his hand.

"Congratulations to you too," she said a little awkwardly.

James smiled at her and Lily let a little smile pass across her face.

"Well, since we have a history of not getting along I think we should try and behave peacefully toward each other," James said get right down to business, "since we are both heads."

Lily nodded in agreement shocked that he was actually taking his position seriously. She was fully aware of how she and Potter did not get along, especially, when he was being an arrogant prat.

"We can't be at each other's throat all the time so we have to behave nicely towards each other," he continued.

"We don't have to like each other as friends," he said, "just coexist."

James' POV

_Although, I wish we could be friends maybe even more by the end of this year._

Lily again nodded. She would have no problem being nice to him of he didn't annoy her.

"We should, probably, talk to the prefects now," Lily said after James was done talking.

He nodded curtly. Lily walked out of the compartment followed by James. Silence fell between them as they made their way together to the prefects' compartment.

"So, how was your summer?" James asked breaking the awkward silence.

"Fine," Lily said not going into details.

"Oh, mine was to," said James.

Silence fell again. Finally, they reached the prefect compartment. James slid open the door and held it open for Lily. Lily thanked him.

Together they greeted the prefects and told them their duties. During that time their thought were occupied with each other.

Lily's POV

_Maybe James did change. Maybe we can actually be friends._

James' POV

_Play it cool. This is your last year to get Lily, don't screw it up._

A/N: Please review. Hope you liked it! I'm sorry to say, this isn't my favorite chapter. Promise to have more L/J time in the next couple of chapters.

I am very grateful to all my reviewers for the support and advice.

**Claire Belle- Glad you like the story!**

**GoddessoftheMaaN- You're the best! I appreciate all the advice you give. I'm glad you like the story! Don't worry I won't get mad at you. ; )!**

**anonymously morgan- thank you for the review. I hoped the story line would be a little different from the usual L/J stories!**

**yellowcard-1991- I appreciate the review! I'll try and make chapters longer!**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not my creation!

A/N: I was hoping for more reviews for chapter 4, but I can't always win!

So sorry this chapter isn't that long and interesting, but I promise the next one is going to be longer by, I'll try, a lot!

"Emergency"

For the first time in a week since Lily got back to Hogwarts, she was finally alone.

She was sitting under a tree outside in the beautiful weather doing her demanding homework. She played with her quill, not knowing what to write for her essay. She tapped her fingers against her books making a consistent beats, but nothing came to mind. Lily sighed and leaned her head back against the tree. She closed her eyes to clear her head, but unconsciously drifted off.

_She felt a pair of arms wrap around her body making her feel warm, protected, and she laughed at her own self for thinking, beautiful. She tried to see the face of the person whose arms were wrapped around her, but she couldn't. She saw the mysterious person leaned towards her, and before she could gasp in surprise he kissed her. A sensation like she never felt before ran down her body all the way down to her toes. She felt like she never wanted to leave the embrace because she knew at that moment she was truly happy. _

A joyful group of laughter woke her from her daydream, but she kept her eyes close, trying to remember the feeling the kiss had caused her. She had loved that feeling because she had never felt such happiness in such a long time.

She thought to herself. Was it possible for her, Lily Evans, to be so happy like that? Who would love her when she was so hideous? She laughed at herself for thinking she could truly be happy for real.

Lily's POV

_It was all a dream. It won't ever come true._

Lily opened her eyes and stared across the lake and saw the three of the Marauders laughing, pointing at something in the lake. Her gaze followed the direction of their fingers and saw Sirius in the lake soaking wet looking ready to kill. For the first time ever Lily saw Sirius not as his usual compose self, and she laughed lightly at him.

Lily watched Remus creep up on the hysterical James and pushed him into the lake as well. She heard his scream of surprise when he hit the water, and she laughed along with the rest of the Marauders.

When James finally surfaced he was red in the face. He searched the grounds making sure no one saw him make a fool of himself. He paused at the sight of Lily laughing at him. He smiled. At least she was paying him some attention.

Lily saw him looking at her and she blushed.

Lily's POV

_Why am I blushing?_

James smiled at her, and she couldn't resist smiling back especially since he looked so funny with his hair all wet and his clothes sticking to him. She laughed at him once more before going back to her essay.

Lily's POV

_Although, I have never had an actual encounter with a person who was bite by a werewolf I am sure they are as kind as any other human being._

Lily ended her essay. She packed her things up and got up to stretch.

"Lily!" screamed a voice coming from inside. Lily looked towards the dorms and saw Allie.

Lily got her thing and walked towards the window that Allie was in.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked.

"Come up, now! It's an emergency!" Allie said urgently.

Lily quickly went in and ran towards the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Blunder," she said.

The portrait swung open and Allie was there waiting for her. She dragged Lily by the arm upstairs.

"What's wrong?"

"You'll see."

Allie pushed open the door to the dorm and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Alice, open up," Allie said.

Lily heard Alice sniffle behind the door.

"No!"

"Alice, we just want to help," said Lily, finally stepping in.

"I hate him! I hate him!" Alice cried from inside.

Lily looked at Allie her eyebrows raised.

"Frank," mouthed Allie.

Lily nodded.

"Darling, open up."

"Please!" plead Allie.

Lily saw Alice's shadow move to open the door. She came out with her eyes pink and a little swollen with tears. She cried, tears ran down her face.

"Oh, you poor thing," Lily cried. She and Allie hugged Alice, and she clung to them crying her eyes out.

"I hate him," she whispered to them.

Lily stroke Alice's brown hair gently.

"It's okay," she whispered consoling her.

Alice sniffled and let her pain just flow out like the massive amount of tears that came out of her.

"I hate him."

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"This is life," commented Sirius.

After getting wet he and the rest of the Marauders were lying on the grass relaxing.

"Being lazy is life?" Remus asked.

"We're not being lazy. We're enjoying life and the things on Earth. That's definitely not being lazy."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Since when have you learn to, quote, enjoy life and the things on Earth?" James asked laughing.

"Since I was a little tyke," laughed Sirius.

James smiled lazily. He stared at the floating clouds above him before closing his eyes enjoying the cool breeze passing by. He smiled at the stupid comments Sirius made while talking to Remus and rolled his eyes at the ass kissing Peter did at that moment. His mind then drifted to the thought of Lily.

Lily, Lily, Lily…. You don't know it yet, but you're going to fall for me. We were meant to be.

A/N: Hope you like this chapter! I really wish to get some reviews to see how I'm doing. Review please: )!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything….

"Mates, Dates, and Emotional Outbreaks"

Alice wiped away a tear that had just escaped her eye, brushed her cheeks making sure it wasn't wet anymore, and sniffled a little. Alice released herself from the comforting hug of Lily.

"You okay?" Allie asked, seeing her surface.

She nodded, but she knew her heart was still broken and would take a long time to heal.

"That's good to hear," Lily said.

"I guess," Alice whispered.

"Cheer up, Alice," Allie said.

"Yeah, everything is going to be okay," Lily said hugging her tightly again.

Alice buried her head into Lily shoulder.

"He has a girlfriend," she mumbled in Lily's shirt.

"He's happy with her and he loves her," she cried, again tears welled up in her eyes and she tried so hard to keep them in, but it was impossible.

Allie came over and wrapped her arms around Alice just like Lily.

"You'll get over him," Allie said.

Alice shook her head in defeat. "No I won't."

"I'm a fool. I told him I liked him!" she cried. Alice pushed herself away from her friends.

"I told him I like him!" a desperate voice seeking for comfort came out of her mouth. She knew she was a mess her brown hair was everywhere, her eyes where swollen, and she was red in the face, but she didn't care, not anymore.

Allie and Lily looked at each other.

"And you know what he told me?" she asked them, "He told me I was sweet and all, but he doesn't like me!"

She screamed! Allie and Lily watch Alice scream, yell, throw things, and jump up and down. They knew well enough to leave Alice alone when she was this upset. She needed to get all her emotions out into the open.

Finally, Alice fell to the floor crying. Her legs curled up underneath her. She sat there letting her tears run down her face, not bothering to wipe them away. Alice sat there no longer caring that she was clearly a mess, as well as, making a fool of herself.

"It hurts so much," she told them. "It hurts so damn much."

"It won't go away, it won't leave me," Alice cried.

Lily and Allie wanted to do something, to take her pain and throw it away, but they knew only Alice could chose to forget everything and move on. They wanted to go over and hug her, to never let go, but Alice had to do this alone. She had to be strong and face the pain, but they knew she needed her friends there to support her decisions, no matter how crazy.

"I don't want to be here anymore."

"I don't want to feel anymore!" ranted Alice.

"No one deserves this," she cried, "it's too painful to describe."

"My heart feels like it was ripped out and thrown carelessly onto the ground! Like I have no worth, no meaning, and it hurts."

She looked up from where she had fallen, staring up at her friends' worried faces, and she came to a decision.

"I need to be alone," she told them, "to think."

Lily and Allie looked at her and then hesitantly nodded. Alice still crying got up shaking and ran out the room. Lily and Allie got up to watch her run down the Common Room trying to hide the fact that she was crying to the few students indoor.

Sirius, however, didn't miss the fact that when she came down Alice's face was red and eyes swollen. He watched her run out the Common Room and when the portrait slammed shut he slowly lifted his gaze to meet Lily and Allie's worried faces.

"She'll be okay," Sirius said sincerely, "I promise."

Lily didn't know why, but she trusted him. She felt Allie loosen up besides her and knew that Sirius' words comforted her too. Lily smiled weakly at him.

"I hope so."

A couple of days past, Lily and Allie didn't see much of Alice. She ate with them, but she rarely spoke. She was like a ghost passing in and out of places without being seen or heard. The only one she looked willing and wishing to talk to was Sirius, and this made Lily and Allie worry.

"I'm scared for her," said Lily.

"Me too," Allie agreed. "She might go and do something crazy."

Lily nodded. They continue eating in silence. They were both thinking of ways to cheer their friend up, to maybe brighten up her day a little bit. They wanted to see her smile again, the smile they all missed.

At dinner Alice came walking towards Lily and Allie and sat down. She poured herself a cup of pumpkin juice, took a plate of food, and began to eat. Lily watched her almost like she was scared Alice would break down at any minute, but she didn't.

Alice looked up from her plate.

"I asked Sirius out."

Allie spit her juice out and exclaimed, "You what!"

Lily looked at Alice like she just grew two extra heads.

"I asked him out," she said simply and sipped her juice.

"Why?"

"I'm moving on."

"By going out with one of the biggest womanizers in this school?" Allie said skeptically.

"I'm playing the field."

"You never played the field," Lily commented.

"Yeah, but now I am," she said, "Why not start with Sirius?"

Allie groaned and banged her head against the table.

"You're going to get hurt!"

"No I'm not," she stated and got up to leave.

Allie turned to Lily.

"What is she getting herself into?" Allie cried in despair.

"We just have to trust her," said Lily.

"I have to go talk to someone," Allie said getting up from her seat.

As she was walking out of the Great Hall Lily told her, "Don't doing anything you'll regret later."

"I never do," was the response Allie's response.

"Black?"

"Yes?"

"We need to talk," Allie said.

"About?"

"You hurt a hair on Alice's head I'll make sure you'll never have another date in your life."

"No need to threaten me."

"And why should I trust you?"

"Because I know what she's going through."

"Potter, we have to have a meeting."

"Sure," he said, "name the place and time."

"Tonight at 7, in the Head's Common Room."

"Fine with me."

James walked away from Lily who was watching his retreating back.

"Don't be late, Potter!"

"Wouldn't dream of it, Evans!"

Lily smiled.

A/N: I really like writing this chapter. I hope it came out the way I wanted it to. Please review.

To the silent readers: You read and all I ask takes like a minute. Review, it means the world to me!

To all my fateful readers: Advice, suggestions, nicely put criticisms, praise, and anything helpful greatly appreciated.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter I wouldn't be here.

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in so long! Enjoy!

"Times of Change"

"Oh no, I'm late!" Lily cried earning a glare from Madame Pince. She quickly gathered her books scattered across the table and place them in her bag. She rushed out of the library.

"Where is she going?" Alice asked.

"Heads' Meeting," Allie answered not looking up from her paper.

"Oh."

"Please don't be there," Lily murmured to herself, "please don't be there."

She closed here eyes as she walked through the portrait. She opened them slowly and James Potter was already sitting on the couch hands behind his head lazily staring at the fire.

"Damn," Lily swore under her breathe.

James turned his head to see her standing near the entrance. He smiled at her. She walked towards him.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," she apologized.

"It's okay," he said waving it off.

Grateful that he didn't say anything against her she took a seat across from him, and they got down to work.

"That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Lily said truthfully.

"I'll take that as a compliment," James laughed. Lily smiled.

"Well, I better get going," he said getting up from his seat.

Lily felt she needed to ask him to make herself less worried about Alice.

"Potter, wait," she said.

James sat back down looking at her slightly confused.

"I wanted to ask you about Sirius."

"I'm kind of worried about…" she paused not sure how to say it.

"Sirius with Alice?" he finished for her. She nodded her head.

He sighed and looked at her, feeling uncomfortable about talking about his best mate.

"The thing about Sirius you have to understand is that he not only the person he puts himself out to be. He's much … deeper."

"It's kind of hard to explain," he sighed running his hand through his hair forgetting how Lily hated that.

"There's more to Sirius. He's a good guy, real loyal," he said, "Look Evans, I've known Sirius for so long and I know he won't hurt Alice."

"He may play the field, but he won't hurt her. He won't have the heart. Besides, he knows what she's going through."

"He said that too, but how can he know what she's going?" she asked.

James smiled at her slightly and said, "Well, I don't want to ruin the answer for you. Talk to him. He's a good guy."

He got up walked to the door and opened it slightly. Lily turned her head to look at him.

"You're not so bad. I think we can actually be friends, Potter."

He turned to look at her and smiled.

"James, Lily, the name's James."

Lily laughed.

"Well, _James_, I'll see you later," she said.

"Don't miss me too much," Lily joked.

He laughed and walked out of the door, but before he closed the door he said to Lily, "Already missing you, Lily."

The last he saw of her that day was her laughing, looking sincerely happy and it was because of him, what he did.

..._  
_

"Look Frank, tell mom to send me some extra money. I ran out," Allie told her brother sheepishly the next morning.

"Why don't you just ask her?" he asked her.

"You know how she's like," she told him.

"Must I?"

"Please…." Allie pleaded, "For your little sister."

"By like five minutes."

Allie pleaded and pouted.

"Fine, fine, but you owe me," he finally agreed. Allie smiled at him, but almost instantly it was turned upside down.

Allie's POV

_Don't come over here, Alice. Don't come over here._

"Hey Allie," Alice greeted seating down not even glancing at Frank.

"Hey," Allie greeted back half-heartedly.

She watched as Alice grabbed a piece of toast and spread some jam over it. She poured herself a cup of juice and began to eat.

When she was done eating she turned to look around the Great Hall and looked right into Frank's face.

"Oh, hey Frank I didn't see you there," Alice said indifferently.

"Hey," he said a little uncomfortably.

Alice went back to scanning the Great Hall apparently looking for someone.

"Sirius!" Alice cried excitedly as he walked in. He smiled and walked towards her and sat across from her.

No long after he sat down he and Alice where whispering something to each other.

Allie heard some parts of the conversation even though she knew she wasn't supposed to eavesdrop. Apparently, so did Frank.

..._  
_

Over the pass few days Lily couldn't believe how close she became to James. She almost forgot that she once really didn't like him. Not only did she realize the change so did every other student at Hogwarts. There were no more fights between the two Heads, but the frequent smiles and laughs exchanged between the two.

Whispers followed them every since there new found friendship.

"Potter and Evans, did you here?"a student asked another.

"Weird isn't it?"

"One day enemies then friends."

"I never thought I would see the day," a student admitted.

"Dumbledore, do you believe it!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed, "Potter and Evans."

"The least likely people to ever get along," Dumbledore stated.

"Friends within a couple of weeks," McGonagall finished clearly amazed.

Dumbledore's POV

_And together forever._

..._  
_

"Hey beautiful!" James greeted Lily.

"Hello handsome," Lily greeted him back with a smile.

"May I walk you to class, Miss Evans?"

"It will be my pleasure, Mr. Potter."

Together they talked all the way to Potions class, being just on time.

..._  
_

It was weird for James to go from Lily hating him to being one of his close friends. He felt he could tell her anything and she would understand. And the thing he couldn't help but think is that sometimes when they were together he felt like she was the only one for him, but he always convinced himself that he was dreaming about it. After all, he did like her and it was natural for him to think like that, right?

..._  
_

Sirius' POV

_I'm glad I could help Alice get through this tough time. She needs someone to talk to who understands how she feels, alone. Like no one wants her. I felt the same before. I felt alone, unwanted by my family. I was never accepted, never good enough for them. Bitter is what I am. I'm never going to be able to settle down. Maybe it's for the better. I'll be to scared, scared of not being good enough. Alice doesn't need to be bitter. She deserves to live a life with the person she loves and to have a family like she wants. She still has time to turn back, to never feel alone again, but for me I'll always be alone._

_I know Alice and I am not and never will be together. She has Frank in her heart, that dumb ass just has to see that Alice is the one. And I'll help them get together if that's the last thing I do!_

A/N: How was it? This chapter was kind of hard for me to write, I don't know why though.

Readers: Okay, so you read the chapter right? Now just review, they inspires me!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter… NOT!

A/n: I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long. I was real busy, high school tests and such! Well, this whole chapter I'm trying to make it all Lily's POV. So bear with me!

"How Could It Be?"

I tried stifling my laughter, but a giggle escaped. James looked at me trying to stop laughing himself. He placed a finger over his lips motioning for me to sustain it for a moment longer.

"Come on, stop moving, Padfoot!" muttered Remus who was next to me.

"One…," whispered James to us.

Allie stopped fidgeting and smiled.

"He stopped," Peter pointed out.

"Two…"

"Three…!" James cried. He flicked his wand that kept the bucket up in the air.

"ARGH!" screamed an outrage and rather wet Sirius.

All five of us emerged from the trees and laughed hysterically at Sirius. His usual perfect hair was matted against his face covering his eyes. His robes were soaking at were beginning to drip. Next to him Alice face was in shocked, but then she too began to laugh. Sirius wiped his hair out of his eyes, stared at us, and scowled.

James and I were laughing so hard we had to lean on each other for support. Sirius growled at us and I stopped laughing, but I notice a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Prongs, you're dead!" he cried sprinting after James. James ran for his life, screaming in fright, but I knew it was all an act. There was a hint of laughter in his eyes.

"It was only a joke, mate!" cried James still running.

"Come back here and face me like a man!" Sirius yelled.

James started to laugh and so he began the chain of laughter from us standing there watching the two boys chase after each other.

"I give!" surrendered James, putting his hands up in the air, but Sirius tackled him anyway. They fell back onto the ground wrestling each other. Amused, the rest of us sat down and watched.

…

"B. e. a. u. tiful day!" Alice exclaimed spinning around where she sat. I laughed at her. She wrapped her arm around mine and Allie's and began walking to get some butterbeer, the boys trailing behind us.

…

"Rock," I said.

"Paper," James responded, "and it beats rock."

"No fair!" I protested. "You cheated!"

James laughed at me. "Lily, I won, accept it!"

"Never!" I giggled.

We were back at Hogwarts, and James and I were waiting for the rest of the group to come down to go to the Halloween feast.

"Again," I said getting ready. My face was itched with concentration. James shook his head at my stubbornness.

"Ready?" he asked me. I nodded.

"Rock, paper, scissor says shoot."

James looked down at our hands.

"I win," he stated a triumph grin on his face. I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. "I hate this game!"

"Sore loser," James teased me.

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Would you two shut up!" Sirius said.

James and I turned to see that Sirius and the rest of our friends were waiting for us. James and I looked at each other and smiled.

"Never!" we cried together and we laughed.

…

"Their as close as you and Prongs," Remus whispered to Sirius.

"Like I don't know," Sirius answered.

I couldn't help but smile. Who would have thought James and I friends?

…

I was eating a piece of chicken when I saw Frank's eyes dart back from Alice back to his plate. I swallowed and turn to face Alice.

"Someone has his eyes on you," I said smiling.

Alice looked uninterested and dully said, "Really?"

"Who?" Allie piped in.

"I can't say," I said, "besides, Alice is uninterested."

"I want to know!" Allie complained. I shrugged, a smirk threatening to creep onto my face. I knew how to get Frank to woe Alice!

"You're up to something," whispered James jokingly into my ear. I recoiled from him because his breathing tickled my ear.

"No I'm not," I lied.

"Don't lie," James told me smiling.

"I'm not!" I said denying his contradiction. His right eyebrow lifted itself in obvious amusement. I laughed and went back to eating my chicken.

…

"Damn, Frank you look like shit!" James exclaimed as Frank walked into the Common Room.

"Like I don't know," Frank mumbled. He looked at me and the Marauders sitting in the couches. Then he looked up towards the stairs at the girls' dorms.

"Where's Alice?"

"With Allie," I said slyly. He looked at me and sat besides me.

"I'm in some deep shit," he told us.

Remus looked concern.

"I like this girl, you see, and she used to like me, but I didn't like her back then. Now, I'm scared she won't have me."

"He means Alice," I blurted out.

Frank and the Marauders stared at me.

"Well, it is," I said.

"We know that," Remus said. "We're using a coded language just in case she comes walking in."

"Oh!" I nodded understanding.

"Lily, you're so loud," Sirius said. "I bet Alice already heard you."

I shrugged. James put a hand over my mouth, but not before winking at me.

"Hey!" I mumbled from behind his head, but I sat quietly listening to them discuss ways for Frank to get Alice. I could have possibly rolled my eyes a couple of times at the very stupid ideas they had. Finally, I could no longer stand it.

"Lesdfnsdnfglsgn," I cried out from under James' hand. He looked at me confused.

"fjnbsdkjfbowrnho," I said again. He didn't understand! I glared at him hoping he would understand that I wanted him to take his hand away. No luck! I then tried moving his hand, but James is so thick, he still wouldn't move his hand. So, I bit him.

"Argh!" he cried, "what you do that for?"

"I wanted you to let go," I said laughing.

"You could have told me!" he exclaimed. "You bite almost as hard as Sirus!"

"Hey!" Sirius and I said at the same time.

Remus and Peter laughed.

"It isn't funny!" Sirius and I said at the same time again. We looked at each other.

"Stop copying me!" we cried together.

James, Remus, Peter, and Frank laughed at us. I glared at them, and they quit laughing, fearing to fire up my infamous red head temper.

"I have a plan," I told them finally.

They looked at me with unsure looks on their faces, but no matter they gathered around me eager to hear the plan. I then began to explain.

…

I woke up to a delightful squeal. I groaned and cuddled deeper into my blanket. I was never a morning person.

"Lily!" Alice cried.

She threw open my curtains and tossed my blanket to the floor. I groaned some more not only because I was tired, but cold too.

"Look," she told me, "I have a secret admirer!"

A/N: Okay, I want some opinions here. Did you like or was it bad? Should I go back to writing like I use to? Any thoughts greatly appreciated!

Faithful readers: You guys make my day.

Silent Readers: Reviewing isn't so hard, is it?

lurv2boogie- Sorry I couldn't email you. Well, heres the answer to your question. If you reread chapter one Lily wears a sweater over her halter. OR she wore it because she wants to look nice even if she had to wear a sweater to cover he bruise.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I never owned it and never will.

A/n: I've decided to go back to writing in 3rd person. I might for some chapters write in 1st though, but I'll tell you guys before I do. Enjoy!

"Trouble Begins to Stir"

"Life is so great," Alice said cheerfully while dancing around the room.

"Get her to sit down, Lily, she's making me dizzy!" complained Allie. Lily laughed. She knew was no use trying to get Alice to sit down after getting roses from her secret admirer.

"Can you believe it, I have a secret admirer!" Alice cried. "It's so cool!" She smiled at her two friends who were getting ready for breakfast.

"Yes, we know Alice," Allie groaned.

"Aren't you happy for me?" Alice asked her. "I am, but you continue to talk about it!" Allie cried. Alice and Lily laughed.

"Who do you think it is?" Lily asked slyly. Alice shrugged and began naming guys.

"You don't think it might be Frank?" questioned Lily.

Alice faced fell for a second. "No," she answered, "Besides, he already said he doesn't like me like that why would he suddenly change his mind."

"Enough talking about this touchy subject, I'm famished!" Allie said grabbing both Lily and Alice's arms. They walked down the stairs while Alice continued on about her secret admirer.

…

The girls arrived at the Great Hall and sat down next to three of the Marauders.

"Where's James?" Lily asked. Sirius not looking up from his plate pointed down the Gryffindor table. Lily looked towards where Sirius was pointing and saw James sitting with a rather pretty girl Lily had never noticed before.

"Who's she?" she asked with her eyes still glue to the two.

"Camille Baker," Allie answered. Lily turned to look at her.

"You know her?"

"She's in my Care of Magical Creatures class. She transferred to Hogwarts like last year from Beaubaxton. A real brat if you ask me," Allie said truthfully.

"I've never noticed her before."

"Me neither," Alice said.

"Of course you haven't. She didn't start to blossom until over the summer," Sirius said while making gestures near his chest. Remus snorted, and Allie hit Sirius over the head. The rest of the group laughed.

"Pervert!" Allie accused him.

"I'm just saying," Sirius said defensively.

"Only you notice things like that, Padfoot," Remus said. Sirius shrugged it off.

"She's real fine, if you catch my drift," he said winking, earning him another smack across the head.

"Lay off woman!" he cried covering his head with his hands. "I would have shagged her by now if she wasn't so self centered."

Allie rolled her eyes. "Sirius you're self center too."

"So…"

They laughed at him.

"So what is she doing with James?" Lily asked feeling a tiny bit jealous.

Remus swallowed his food and answered, "Trying to woe him."

"Poor guy," Sirius said.

"Why?" Alice asked.

"She's downright annoying!" Sirius said. They laughed.

"She can't be that bad," Lily said.

"Trust me, Lily, she's annoying," Allie said.

"I'll risk it," she answered. She waved her arms and cried, "Hey James."

James turned his head and saw Lily. He smiled at her and mouthed that he'll be right there. She nodded and turned back to the group.

"You're dead meat lady," Sirius told Lily.

"Why?"

"You just can't go after James like that. Especially, if he's being chased by Baker," Sirius said.

"Why not?"

"She'll think you're trying to steal him," Remus said.

"She'll skin you alive!" Allie cried. "She a real jealous one." Lily laughed at her friends.

"I'm serious, Lily, she come after you."

"Maybe you should lay off hanging around James for awhile," Alice cautioned.

"But he's my friend," protested Lily.

"I'm just saying." Lily frowned. It couldn't be that bad, could it?

…

Camille followed the stare of James' eyes. He was looking at Lily Evans, the Head Girl with red hair and perfect features. Camille's inside boiled with jealousy. How his eyes showed such longing for her! She scowled.

"What awful red hair!" Camille exclaimed in her thick French accent, smirking.

James turned to look at her. He was frowning. "I think it's really rather quite lovely." Camille scowled.

"Would you excuse me?" James said getting up from his seat. He walked away from her towards Lily.

Camille hated Lily. James Potter was supposed to be hers. He wasn't suppose to like anyone else, but her! Lily Evans will regret ever getting in the way of Camille Baker.

…

"Hey guys!" James greeted them, but he was looking at Lily.

"Hey!" they greeted in unison. He earned a smile from Lily, and inwardly he was bursting from happiness. He sat down across from her.

"How was it?" Sirius asked.

"Awful," James said dramatically. Lily smiled.

"You don't like her?" she asked slyly. James looked at her.

"Never," he said and shivered. She laughed at him.

They went back to eating. When they were about to leave Camille came floating down the table stopping behind James.

"James would you like to accompany to my dorm," she cooed.

He grimaced before he turned to look at her.

"Aw, I'm sorry Camille I already promised Lily I'll hang out with her the whole day."

Camille frowned at Lily before kissing James on the cheek.

"Well, when you're free come find me," she said seductively in his ear and turned to leave. James quickly wiped off the place where she had kissed him.

"Always a charmer," Lily said a hint of jealousy hidden behind her voice. James just looked at her.

"Jealous?" Sirius whispered into her ear smirking. Lily hit him across the head and glared. He laughed it off. "Denial isn't good for your health," he said.

"Shut up," Lily said scowling.

…

James' POV

_I can't help but want more from Lily. Can't she tell I want her? She seems to just want to be friends. I'm through being friends; I want it to be so much more! I know everyone can tell how much I long to hold her in my arms, to be finally be able to call her mine, everyone but her. Does she like me back? I can't ask her out afraid to ruin our friendship, but I sometimes feel like I'm going to explode from not being able to tell her how much I need her._

James watched as Lily joked with Allie and Alice. Her red hair looked like it was dancing. He wanted to remember her face forever. He wanted to remember every feature on her face, every scar. He knew he had to wait, though. Of he wanted them to go on to have a relationship he would have to wait for her to want him before telling her how much she meant to him.

A/n: What did you think? Good or bad? Reviews give me inspiration, and inspiration equals an earlier update! Check out my new story I'm going to post soon called _Courting Love._


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Wish I did, but I don't.

A/n: Okay, sorry again for the long wait. Enjoy!

"Denial/ Rejection"

Lily could have been anywhere in the world, but she had to be placed next to Camille Baker. It wasn't that Lily had much against the girl, but the fact was she got horrible vibes off of her. Nasty looks where shot in her direction constantly. The rolling of the eyes and the snickering of Lily's hair that seem to never end drove Lily insane. Every time Lily confronted Camille with it Camille just put on an innocent face and walked away. Lily was nice about it too. She sure didn't want to start a cat fight, but knocking over her sample of her potion was the last straw.

"Oops, my fault," Baker put on a false smile and walked away. Lily growled in frustration and resentment. She angrily walked to the front of her desk and quickly cleaned up the glass and the potion on the floor.

"Lily, need help?"

She turned around to see James looking at her. She shook her head and offered a small smile.

"Quickly people, hand the potion in," Professor Slughorn said in the front of the glass.

Lily quickly got a new sample of her potion and walked to the front of the class. She placed her potion down and walked back to her seat to pack. As she began to place her books into her bag several of them fell to the ground. Lily looked up to see Baker smirking with her fellow posse. Lily glared.

"Bitch," Lily said to Camille's face. They held each other gaze until Camille leaned forward towards Lily's ear. Lily didn't flinch.

"I always get what I want," she whispered. Lily watched her gaze at James who was laughing with Sirius, "no matter what."

She pulled back, smirked, and left. Lily watched her leave, anger boiling at the pit of her stomach. Lily swore the next time that girl crossed her path wands will be drawn. She sighed as she looked down at the books on the floor. She bent down to pick them up and saw another pair of hands reach for them. Lily looked to see that the person was James. He handed her books to her.

"Thank you," she said.

"Baker's a bitch. Don't let her get to you."

"I'll try not to," Lily said smiling at the genuine concern of James. He returned it.

"We don't want to be late for Charms, do we?"

"No, let me just pack these things away."

James waited as Lily placed her stuff away. As they walked together to Charms Lily couldn't help remembering what Baker last said.

_"I always get what I want, no matter what."_

…

_You're everything I ever wanted_

_Everything I will ever need_

_I hope when you know who I am you will want me too_

_But for now I will remain always yours_

_A stranger, maybe, or one who thinks he is not worthy of you._

_Your secret admirer_

Alice was flattered. No one had ever sent her anything so touching before.

"I'm going to marry this guy," she said. Lily and Allie laughed.

"You don't even know who he is," Allie pointed out.

"He sounds so perfect, my prince charming, my knight in shining armor!" Alice exclaimed dramatically. They laughed.

"Sounds too good to be true, though," Allie said.

"Allie, don't be a party pooper," Alice cried.

Allie laughed, "I'm not!"

Alice sighed, "I really wish I knew who he was."

Lily looked at her. "He will reveal himself soon, don't worry."

"Hope so," Alice said as she hugged her pillow to her chest.

…

"Be ready for this Saturday's game," James said to his team. "Good practice."

The team left leaving only Sirius and James on the Quidditch pitch.

"James! Sirius!" A voice shouted. They looked up to see Lily running towards them.

"Lily, my love," Sirius greeted. Lily smiled at him.

"What are you doing?" James asked her.

"I felt like walking back up with you guys," Lily confessed.

"She truly does love me too much," Sirius joked. He placed his arm around her shoulder and smiled. Lily rolled her eyes, but despite that she smiled.

"Big ego," she commented, and Sirius laughed.

"Well, sorry darling I won't be able to accompany you guys back inside. I have plans with someone, if you know what I mean." He winked at Lily and left them laughing.

"I guess it's just us two then," James said.

"Guess so," Lily answered.

Conversation was light as the walked back. They shared a couple of laughs and teases. As they slowly walked closer to the castle the winds began to pick up speed. James wrapped his arms around Lily's shoulder to keep them warm. Lily was washed with a feeling of warmth and protection at James' touch, and unconsciously smiled. Lily watched him as he quickly walked towards the castle. It was a wonder why she never noticed how good looking he was. His manly face with dancing, childlike, hazel eyes he could easily win one of the top best looking guys at Hogwarts.

James turned to look at her and saw her looking at him.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" he joked.

Lily shook her head feeling heat rise up to her face at being caught looking. He laughed.

"We better go in," Lily commented. She began to walk away from James' protective arm.

"Lily, wait," he cried out. She turned around confused. He took a step towards her. They were close enough that if he wanted to he could kiss her. Lily felt her stomach flutter. Her heart beat increased, and she felt like she couldn't speak even if she wanted to.

"Yes," she said unsteadily.

James looked down at her, peering into her green eyes. His fingers gently brushed her skin. Lily didn't breathe and just stared at James. She felt his hand reach up for something on her head.

"There was something in you hair," he said holding up a red leaf.

Lily blushed lightly.

"Oh, thanks."

"We better get in soon. It's getting dark."

Lily just nodded and together they walked the remaining steps back inside.

James' POV

_Coward! You had the chance and you didn't take it. Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

…

As soon as Lily entered the Gryffindor Common Room she quickly excused herself from James' presence. She practically ran up the stairs towards the seventh year girls' dorm.

Lily jumped onto her bed, grabbed her pillow, and held it close to her. She was so confused. What was she feeling towards James? It wasn't an attraction, was it? Lily groaned. She couldn't like James. He was her friend. Besides, what would a guy like him see in her?

_I don't like James. We're only friends, nothing more. _Lily told herself. _Nothing more._

…

James sat staring at the fire. He rubbed his temples. Why didn't he do anything? Why was he so scared? It was his chance, and he didn't make a move?

The door slammed. James looked up to see Remus walking in. Remus walked towards him and sat down across him.

"Why the glum face?" Remus asked. He had immediately notice James' expression.

"Nothing."

"Prongs, you know you can trust me," Remus started.

"I know, I know," James said. "But how would you response when I tell you I tried to kiss Lily?"

"And what stopped you from doing it?" Remus asked.

James shrugged. "I suppose I'm scared of rejection."

Remus looked at him for a moment. "How did Lily respond?"

"I don't know. That's the problem! I don't know how she feels about me!" he cried.

"Prongs, you have to take chances."

"I know, but I don't know how I'll cope if she didn't want me. Do you get it, Remus; it's our last year of Hogwarts. I may never see her again. This is my last chance."

James buries his head into his hands and groaned.

"I believe Lily will come around. Just give it time."

"I think I love her."

Remus stared at James. He wasn't expecting that. The room was silent. How was he going to response to that?

A/n: I really liked writing this chapter and would greatly appreciate it if you told me your opinion. Review it means so much to me.

Faithful readers: You guys are the best. It makes me feel so good to be appreciated for what I write.

Silent readers: I really do wish you guys would review, but thanks for reading anyway!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I would say I own it, but then I'll get arrested and such. I really don't want to go to jail. It's bad for my record. )

A/N: Okay, first I want to thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews I received. It mad me so, so happy! Now, second of all this is the longest chapter I've ever written so enjoy!

"A Kiss for a Kiss"

Over the next couple of days when James saw Lily he was itched with the feeling to tell her of how he felt. He wanted to make her understand how much she meant to him, and how losing her would completely destroy him. Most of all, he wanted to know what she felt for him, if they could possibly move up to the next level in their relationship. However, James never did any of those things. Every time he was about to Remus' advice came to mind.

_If you don't want to lose her, don't tell her. Not yet._

…

Unsure of her feelings Lily tried her best to act normal around James. She tried her best in forgetting about what had happened the day James and her had walked back from the Quidditch pitch. At the mere thought of it she would blush and think of how stupid she had felt. Lily was attracted to James, she couldn't doubt that, but she wasn't going to let her crush be known to anyone, especially James, not yet anyway.

…

"Eat something, Prongs," Sirius said while shoving food into his mouth. James shook his head.

"James, listen to Sirius. You're going to need the energy," Lily said sipping some of her pumpkin juice.

"I don't need it," James argued. Lily raised her eyebrows skeptically.

"You're playing the Slytherins," Lily pointed out.

"I know."

"You need your energy." James shook his head.

"I'm full of energy!" James argued flexing his muscles. Lily laughed.

"Of course, you're a big macho man." James winked at her.

"You know it," he said, making Lily laugh lightly.

"Just in case though. We don't want you getting tired out there."

Lily glanced down at her empty plate and back up.

"Well, I'll see you later," she said getting up from her seat. "Good luck."

"I don't need it," James said, "My team has pure talent." Lily smiled and bent down and kissed James on his cheek.

"_Good luck, James."_

Lily walked away not looking back. If she did she would have seen James flush a tinge of red. James smiled at Lily's retreating back and grabbed something to eat, just in case.

…

As James soared above the Quidditch pitch he heard the cheers coming from the stand. He smiled and did several summersaults in the air. James scanned the crowd of students in red and gold, finally, catching a glimpse of Lily's red hair. She saw him looking at her and waved. He waved back, and she smiled.

The whistled blew and James flew down towards the ground.

"Captains, shake hands please," Madame Hooch said. James and the Slytherin captain, Louis Lovering, stepped forward. They shook each other's hand, not forgetting to send death glare at the rivaling house. Before they let each other go from the death grip, Lovering winced a little from the pain. Inwardly, James smirked.

Madame Hooch bent down and unlatched the lock on the Quidditch chest. The snitch and bludgers went off zooming across the pitch. Madame Hooch held the quaffle in her hand.

"Let's have a fair game now!" she exclaimed. She threw up the quaffle and the game began.

Half an hour later the game was a close one. Gryffindor was only 30 points ahead, and Slytherin was gaining fast.

"Ten points to Slytherin!" the announcer exclaimed.

"Boo!" the Gryffindor supporters cried.

James tried his best getting the quaffle around the team so that they could score. He watched as one of his team mates raced towards the opponent's goals. He looked up at his seeker, who was frantically searching for the snitch.

"Come on Vaughn," he murmured.

All of a sudden he watched his seeker rush down from his spot above him. Everyone, including the players themselves, stopped and watched as both seekers raced each other towards the snitch.

"They've spotted the snitch!" cried the announcer.

"Come on!" a voice from the sea of red cried. Then the cheers for the Gryffindor seeker began. The seeker swooped up and held his hand up high above his head. In it was the golden snitch.

An eruption of cheers filled the stadiums. James thrust his hand up and screamed in joy.

"Gryffindor!" yelled the crowd. As the seeker touched the ground the Gryffindor Quidditch team all jumped on him.

…

"Party in the common room!" Sirius cried out in the locker room.

James laughed. He wrapped his towel around him as he stepped out of the shower.

"You go on up first, Padfoot," James told Sirius, "I'll catch up with you later."

"See you." James heard the door slam shut. James smiled a triumph smile as he thought about the victory.

"The Gryffindor team brings in another victory. What a wonderful captain they have! James Potter, a wonderful chaser and captain!" he acted out in front of the mirror.

"James!" Lily's voice came floating into the room.

"Lily?"

"Where are you?"

"Don't come in!" he cried.

"Why not?" Lily asked as she came into view. She looked at James in nothing but his towel and screamed. She quickly covered her eyes with her hands.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know you…uh… just came out of the shower."

James couldn't stop himself from flushing red. He noticed that even behind her hands Lily was embarrassed.

"It's okay. I should have told you sooner."

"I'll just be leaving. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah," James agreed.

James watched Lily leave with her hands still covering her eyes.

…

The party in the common room soon got out of control. Fire whiskey was distributed all around the room. Many people got drunk and were doing outrageous things. When James got to the party he couldn't find Lily so he decided to shrug it off.

"James, take this!" Sirius shouted over the music. James popped the cap off of his fire whiskey and took a big gulp. The fire whiskey washed down his throat and burned a little, but he really didn't mind.

"Good game, Potter," someone told him patting him on the back. James smiled and took another sip of his fire whiskey.

…

"James," cooed a voice in his ear. James unsteadily turned around and looked at the person behind him.

"Camille," James murmured.

"You played a good game today," Camille told him while brushing her fingers lightly against his arm.

"Thanks," he said. James sat down on the couch, and Camille sat right next to him.

"You're so amazing. I would feel so lucky to have someone like you in my life."

James turned to look at her. His eyes were a little blurry, and his head hurt a little.

"James?" Camille asked.

"Hmmm," James said.

Camille pressed her lips against his. James, drunk, just responded. Temporarily, he forgot about the red head girl with green eyes he vowed he loved. He was kissing Camille Baker on the couch in the Gryffindor Common Room.

…

Lily watched from the stairs. _James and Camille. Potter and Baker. _Lily shivered. She was so utterly confused. James and Camille were together? Why are they kissing? Lily watched her world shattered around her. James, the guy she had befriended this year had turned around and stabbed her in the heart. Lily's self confidence dropped. _And I was going to confess tonight._

Tears threatened to spill out, and it took all of her will to stop it. Lily fingered her wand in her pocket, contemplating whether or not she should curse Baker into oblivion. How she would love to.

"Lily." Allie tapped her on the shoulder. Lily turned around. Tears glistened the surface of her green eyes that seemed to have dulled.

"You okay?" Allie asked her gently. Lily shook her head and smiled. Lily looked back towards the couch and looked back at Allie.

"I'm going to go look for Alice, k?"

"Sure," Allie said nodding. Lily walked away. Allie looked at her retreating back before looking towards the couch where Lily had looked before. Then all of a sudden Allie understood. Lily was hiding a secret, and her life had just shattered.

…

The next morning, James woke up with a horrible hangover.

"Prongs! Wake up!" Sirius screamed. James buried his head into his pillow and groaned.

"Padfoot, shut up!" James cried in desperation.

Sirius threw off James' covers and jumped onto the bed. James groaned again.

"What do you want!"

"How was she?"

"What do you mean?"

"Baker," Sirius asked, "from a scale of zero to ten how's her kissing?"

"How should I know?"

"You kissed her."

"What?" James screamed jolting up from his bed. "Who did I kiss?"

"Baker."

"Shit!" he screamed. "Why didn't anyone stop me?" Sirius shrugged.

"I hope no one saw me," James groaned like his life was ruined.

…

"Did you see that kiss?" Alice asked Lily the next morning at breakfast.

"What kiss?"

Behind Lily, Allie was making gestures trying to tell Alice to stop talking about it, but Alice didn't get it and continued.

"Between Baker and James," Alice said.

"Yeah," Lily said indifferently, but insides she was a mess. How could she not be? She picked at her food. She wasn't that hungry anymore.

"You guys want to go out?" Lily asked all of a sudden.

"Now?" Allie asked. Lily shook her head.

"Sure." They got up from their seats and headed for the grounds. As they walked out of the Grand Hall, the Marauders walked in.

"Hey Lily," James greeted.

Lily walked by him, pretending she didn't hear.

_Maybe she didn't hear me._ James thought hopefully.

…

For a week, Lily avoided James at all cost. She wasn't sure she could face him. She hadn't shed one tear for him since the party, and she was planning not to. She was going to hold her head up high and be strong.

James getting increasingly frustrated at Lily would sometime shout for her down the hall, but she never did respond. Head Meetings had not been held for several days now and patrol was done separately. James tried his best to confront her, but his best didn't seem like enough. He decided to catch her without her notice and get her to talk to him. He was beginning to miss their relationship, even if they were just friends.

…

Lily was coming back from the library by herself when James came out of nowhere and stood in front of her.

"What?" she asked.

"We need to talk," James said.

"We have nothing to talk about," she told him truthfully and tried walking past him. He grabbed her wrist and held on.

"Lily…"

"Only friends call me that, and you're definitely not a friend," Lily snapped at him her green eyes all fired up. James sighed.

"Evans, we have to figure this out."

"I will not go anywhere with you, Potter." James winced at the sound of his surname.

"Yes, you will." He dragged her to the Room of Requirements and closed the door behind them. Lily wretched her hand away from his grasp and held it close to her. She glared at him from where she was standing.

"Let me out!" she exclaimed.

"No," James answered like it was simple question. "I will not."

"Let me out!" Lily cried getting angry. "I don't want to even be in the same room as you no more!"

Unmoved, James waited for her to finish her little rant. Lily gasped for some breathe.

"Lily, you have to understand I was…" James started.

"I understand completely. I saw it with my own eyes," Lily interrupted. "I understand completely."

"Then you know it was a mistake," James said.

"Don't lie, Potter," Lily said spitefully. She pointed her index finger at him and jabbed it towards him like a threatening weapon.

"I trusted you and became your friend. I thought I meant more to you then I now know. You betrayed me!" Lily accused. She felt all her emotions melt together. Anger, helplessness, sadness, and withering self esteem all meld into one.

"Listen..."James said trying to explain.

"I don't want to listen!" Lily cried out covering her ears.

James stepped forward and pulled Lily's hands down to her sides. She fought back, trying hard to make him let go.

"I hope you and Baker have a happy life together," she said straight to his face.

"Jealous?" James asked all of a sudden angry at the how hard headed Lily was being. Lily laughed.

"No," she lied.

"I think you're mad at me because I was kissing her instead of you," he accused her. He took a step towards her.

"That's a lie!" she exclaimed in her own defense.

"Admit it, Evans," he said, "you're jealous that you weren't the one I kissed."

Lily shook her head. "Why would I be jealous of her? I don't want you to kiss me. It's the last thing in the world I would want."

"Are you sure?" James asked.

"Of course, I'm sure!" she exclaimed.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I did this would you?" he asked, but before Lily could answer his lips were against her. Lily fought back at first, but she slowly lost herself. How was she supposed to withstand the kisses of the guy she was attracted to?

All the passion they held for each other was released. Lily gently pressed her lips against his. His hands gently played with her hair that dangled between his fingers. Her hands seemed to draw little circles around his neck. Lily could smell his cologne and tried memorizing it. Her eyes closed, she felt complete for once. James lightly pulled away from her and stood there holding her in his arms. He stared at her lovingly, she stared at him.

_If you don't want to lose her, don't tell her. Not yet._

"I love you, Lily."

Lily stared into James' eyes. She saw everything she ever wanted, a perfect man, and that was the problem.

Lily broke free from James' embrace and took a step away from him.

"I can't," she said, not brave enough to say it to his face. James stared at her. His face was blank, all his emotions well hidden. He took in her perfect hair, her green eyes, and every little thing that made her seem so special to him. Lily turned around to leave. Her face contorted in an effort to try not to cry. She opened the door. James didn't object. He stood there watching her, almost daring her to leave, to leave him. Lily looked back at him and closed the door shut. James watched her leave.

_Maybe we're really not meant for each other._

…

Perfect. Lily hated that word. James was too good for her. He was flawless. She was a complete mess. She felt like she wasn't worth anything.

_James could find better._

I'm not on the same level as he is. I'm not beautiful enough, smart enough, or _perfect_ enough.

That night Lily cried. She had went against herself and cried because of James. She had cried because James was too good for her, and that she was a no body. Even her father said so. Lily didn't bother wiping the tears off her red, puffy face. She wasn't going to bother. It was no use any way.

A/n: OKAY! DON"T KILL ME! I know this was the chapter most of you guys thought were going to be The chapter. Sorry, to disappoint, but this chapter plays an important part in the whole story. If you don't get why Lily doesn't think she deserves James read the first chapter over.

Questions: People have been wondering if Lily's father would be mentioned again and I won't say anything. It would ruin the story. ;)

Reviewers: You guys rock my socks. Review! It makes me want to write more!


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Though, I wish I did.

A/n: Hello and thanks for all the awesome reviews! So here's the next chapter, enjoy!

"Two Invitations, Two Meanings"

Sirius watched as two of his friends, who held so much passion for each other fall apart. How was it that two people who were destined for each other be so blind? They have each other right in front of them, and they ignore it. How could they continue living, knowing that they found their soul mate and not be together? Sirius felt that it was wrong. If he had the chance to be with his one true love, he would jump for the opportunity. Sirius shook his head and sighed. He had to find a way to get those two together.

…

"Lily?" a voice woke Lily up from her slumber.

"Lily, wake up." Lily groaned and shifted her body towards the sound of the voice. She peeked one of her eyes opened and saw Alice peering down at her. Lily glanced at her clock.

"Alice, it's fucking two in the morning."

"I'm sorry, but you were crying in your sleep," Alice explained.

"I was?" Lily asked. Alice nodded her head.

"Are you okay? It heard like you were crying out for James." Lily looked at her and swallowed. The memories of the event that had happened two days earlier washed back in. Lily fell back down onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. She felt Alice sit on the bed, ready to listen.

"No. I'm not okay," Lily whispered. Alice remained silent, waiting for Lily to explain herself, but the explanation never came. Alice knew that if Lily wanted to explain, she would, but in her own time. Alice glanced down at Lily and saw that she was silently trying to keep in her tears. Alice gently stroked Lily's hair.

"It's okay to cry," Alice comforted. Lily's body trembled slightly.

"Let it out. Everything is going to be okay." Lily allowed the tears she's been hiding for the past two days flow freely. She let her emotions flow free, and it allowed her to get them off her chest.

Alice continued comforting her until Lily fell asleep. Alice watched Lily. She was worrying for her. Lily seemed so upset lately and it scared her.

"Please feel better, Lily," Alice whispered as she tucked Lily's blanket underneath Lily's chin.

…

_Her red hair danced in the light, and her eyes so beautiful that it sometimes seemed that he could fall into them and drown. Everything about her was perfect in his eyes, even the little moon shaped scar on her right cheek. Her pale, but no thought perfect skin seems to make her glow. _

James sighed as he watched her down the table. How he wished to be the one to hold her, comfort her, hug her, and kiss her. He loved her, but she didn't even like him back. He laughed at how pathetic he was. He still thought about the girl who had told him to his face she didn't feel a thing for him.

_Maybe it's time for me to move on._

"James, you okay?" Remus asked. James turned to look at his friend and smiled.

"Yeah Moony, I'm okay."

"I'll take your word for it," Remus said while sticking a piece of his breakfast in his mouth. James looked at Lily one more time and decided that he should get on with his life. It was going to be the last time he was going to try and make her fall for him, he promised himself.

…

Lily watched James concentrating on their lesson. He looked so serious.

_He didn't even turn around and look at me! Not even a glance!_

_Well, why would he do that? You told him you didn't like him, even if it was lie._

_Shut up!_

_It hurts doesn't it?_

_What?_

_Indifference on his part hurts. You wish he would pay you some attention._

_No I don't._

_You can't lie to your conscience. You miss how he treated you with the utmost respect. He always seemed so intent on listening to your problems and everything. Now you lost him._

_I didn't lose him. We're still friends, I think._

_Friends? You ran away from him after he gave you the best kiss of your life! _

_He'll understand._

_You ran away from the best thing that entered your life in years. I don't think you can forgive yourself soon before he could forgive you. _

_I was protecting him._

_From you, or were you just too scared._

_Leave me alone!_

Lily scowled. She hated feeling lonely in life, but to feel guilty too! So, she missed James' touch, his voice, and his humor; she was going to get over it. She looked at James and sighed.

_Not going to happen anytime soon._

…

Lily patrolled the corridors. She glanced in ever broom closet to make sure that couples didn't happen to take a midnight stroll and end up in a make out session. As Lily came near a corner, a voice startled her.

"Lily, Lily, Lily…" a voice from the dark spoke. Lily quickly drew her wand out.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" Lily demanded.

Camille Baker stepped out. Lily sneered.

"You're out of bed." Camille shrugged it off and smirked. She circled Lily like a predator ready to pounce. Lily's grip on her wand tightened. If Baker wanted to fight Lily was not going to back down. She had wanted to fight her since the day of the "accident" with the potion.

"James isn't with you?" Camille asked slyly.

"That's none of your business."

"I would say it would be my business."

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Aw, Lily you didn't see the kiss James and I shared? Too bad, but I'll tell you ever little detail." Camille said smirking. Lily's face flushed with anger.

"If you see James tell him I want to give him a present," Camille said slyly.

"I'll do that," Lily said.

Camille began to walk away. Lily watched her slowly retreat, but it didn't last long. She was only three feet away when she turned around and looked at Lily smugly.

"By the way, I won. James doesn't give a shit about you no more. He deserves someone better, like me. See ya you filthy little mudblood!"

Before Camille could actually leave Lily lunged forward and punched her across the face.

"You bitch!" Lily was flushed. She had enough. Baker didn't know anything between her and James.

Baker held her swelling cheek. Lily held her wand in front of Baker threateningly.

"Twenty points from Ravenclaw," Lily said calmly. "It's going to be thirty if you don't get to bed."

Camille glared at Lily, still holding her cheek. She turned and swiftly walked away. Lily allowed herself time to calm down. She slid down against the wall and buried her face into her hands. She cried. Her emotions welled up in her chest.

"Lily?" Lily felt someone's hand pat her back, and she looked up.

"Sirius?" she said groggily.

"That was one heck of a punch," Sirius commented. Lily let herself laugh and wiped her tears away.

"You saw that?" Sirius nodded his head. He sat down next to her and handed her a white paper. Lily held the paper in her hand and examined it. She opened it and read it.

_To Miss Evans,_

_We cordially invite you to the New Year Ball at Mr. James Potter's house. Formal attire is required. We hope to see you there. More information is on the next page._

_Yours truly,_

_James Potter and his friends_

Lily looked at Sirius.

"A ball?" she asked. Sirius nodded.

"You should come," Sirius said.

"I'm not sure. Did James invite me?"

"No, I did."

"Then I prefer not to go," Lily stated as she placed the invitation in her robe.

"You and James have to resolve this little rift," Sirius said sternly.

Lily sighed and looked Sirius in the eye. "Sirius, I love you, but please don't play match maker!"

"I wasn't going to!" he protested. Lily eyed him curiously.

"I wasn't! Besides the ball is fun!"

"I'll think about it," Lily said, turning away.

…

When Lily was finally done with patrolling she dragged her feet up the stairs. She flopped down on her bed tired. She took out the invitation she got from Sirius and reread it. Was she going to go? Lily sighed and placed the invitation in her trunk. Something came tapping at the window. Lily leaned on her elbow to see what it was. An owl sat on the window sill, patiently waiting for someone to open the window. Lily walked over and allowed the owl entrance.

"Hey, little fellow," Lily greeted it.

"What do you have for me?" she asked. The owl handed her the letter and flew off. Lily closed the window and tore open the letter.

_Dear Lily, _

_I was hoping to see you this Christmas break. It's been so long since we sat down and had a good talk. I really wish to see you, love. _

_Love,_

_Your father_

Lily was shocked. She never went home for Christmas, especially after her mother died. Why would her father want her home now? Lily sighed; two invitations that she had to think about.

A/n: Okay, I know not my best chapter but this plays an important role in the whole plot in the later chapters! Please review!


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.

A/N: Sorry, it took me so long my computer wasn't working. So here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!

"Coming Home"

Two days past and Lily was weighed down with the thought of choosing whether or not to see her father again. It was apparent to everyone that something was bothering her, besides the fact that James and her weren't on speaking terms. Lily had bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep, her usual kept hair was a mess, and she seemed to wander aimlessly through the school all the time. Allie and Alice were worried. They confronted Lily about it, but the only thing they got out of her was a grunt.

James watched Lily fall apart from afar. He wanted to go and comfort her, to ask her what was troubling her, but his pride, his heart wouldn't let him. He didn't want to get hurt again. He didn't want to hear her say that she didn't feel the same way about him when he professed his love for her. So he watched her from a distance.

Lily sat cuddled against her blanket on the couch in front of the fire. It was well past midnight and no one but Lily was in the Common Room. She sat there with a cup of hot chocalate she conjured in her hand. Her hair tied up in a loose bun with strands of it falling into her face. Her knees against her so that if she wanted to she could place her chin lightly on top. Lily sat there and stared entranced by the fire and took a careful sip of her drink. She didn't know what to do. Questions ran through her mind. Why did her father want to see her again? She never went home for Christmas break. Should she go? What was going on?

Confused, Lily sat there and pondered. She silently seperated the pros and cons for going home, but everytime both sides came out drawed, the same. She sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What to do?" Lily asked herself aloud.

The Common Room door creaked open, and Lily turned to see who/what it was that opened the door. No one was there. The door slammed shut.

"Who's there?" Lily asked.

Silence.

Lily turned back towards the fire and decided it was the wind that had opened and closed the door. Lily glanced down at the letter beside her and picked it up. She reread what her father wrote to her and reread it again. All that time a chilling wind seemed to breathe down her neck that sent shivers down her spine. Lily wrapped her blanket closer to her.

_Probably just the wind._

_A letter was what was bothering her? A letter from her father? _

James silently crept up the stairs into the 7th year boys' dorm. He dragged himself over to his bed and let himself fall onto his bed with a thud. He threw off his invisibility cloak and stared at the ceiling.

"Prongs?"

James grunted.

"What were you doing?" Sirius asked groggily.

"Couldn't sleep. Decided to go for a walk."

"Hmm...I'm going to go the kitchen I can't sleep either. Want anything?"

James shook his head, "No thanks."

When James was Sirius was gone he couldn't help think about Lily. Sure on the outside he seemed indifferent to Lily to everyone else, but to the Marauders and when he was by himself he was consumed with the thoughts, touch, and smell of her. She wouldn't leave him alone. James had promised himself the night she rejected him to move on and that was what he was exactly planning to do, if the thought of her would stop perstering him.

Sirius trodded down the stairs towards the Common Room expecting to be by himself, but as he quite clearly saw he was not. A certain red head hadn't been able to sleep either. Lily turned and looked at Sirius when she heard the stairs creak.

"Hey Sirius," Lily greeted softly.

Sirius walked over and sat down next to her.

"Hey."

Sirius examined her in the state she was in. He had seen her fall apart the past two days, he was worried. Afterall, she was his friend.

"Couldn't sleep?" Sirius asked her. Lily nodded.

"You too?"

"Yeah."

Sirius watched as Lily took a sip of her hot chocalate.

"Lily, something bothering you?" Sirius asked sincerely concerned. Lily shook her head. Lily unconsciously began to crumple the letter into a ball. Sirius watched her do so.

"Don't lie."

"I'm not," Lily denied. She wasn't ready to tell anyone her relationship with her father. Lily placed the crumpled up letter besides her, not expecting Sirius to dive for it.

"Sirius, give it back!" Lily cried outraged. She jumped off the couch.

Sirius ignored her, stood up, uncrumpled the letter, and read it. Confusion was written all over his face when he was done reading. "What's this?"

"It's called a letter," Lily said. She was angry. How could he go and read something so personal without her permission!

"Now give it back," she demanded. She was strangly calm and only thrust her hand foward to get her letter back.

"Not until you explain," Sirius retorted.

"There's nothing to explain. My father wrote me a letter asking me to go home for the break."

"So why are you so upset?"

"I'm not upset!"

"Lily, look at yourself. You haven't slept in days. If this letter isn't keeping you up, what is?"

Lily didn't answer. She didn't move from her spot either. Her hand was still stretched out waiting for Sirius to return what he had stolen.

"Tell me. I'll understand." With that Lily cried out in frustration.

"No you don't! You don't get it. No one does. Do you know how it feels to feel so unloved? How it feels like no one could ever love you? My father beats me. Did you know that? He hates me. I want him so badly to hold me and tell me he loves me, but he doesn't. Do you know how much it hurts? How much it hurts to know that your own father doesn't want anything to do with you?"

Tears streamed out of her eyes.

"Yes, I do," Sirius answered. His Adam's apple bobbing up and down uncontrollably like he wanted to cry, but was holding it in.

"Can you tell me why he doesn't love me?" Lily asked Sirius quietly. She sat down on the couch and stared at him like a child who needed comforting, a child that wanted, needed love.

Sirius walked over to her and sat down.

"All I want is for him to love me. Is that to much to ask?" Lily looked at Sirius. Lily hugged herself and rocked herself.

"Is it?"

Sirius watched Lily and he cried, he cried for the first time in front of a girl. Lily telling her story awakened the feelings Sirius had. His family didn't love him. His family hated him. He rememebred when he was just like Lily, wanting nothing but to be loved. To do anything for his parents' approval, but it never came.

"No, Lily it isn't. It isn't too much to ask."

Lily hugged Sirius tightly. He hugged her back. They needed each other at the moment.

Lily buried her face into Sirius' shoulder. He told her his story, and she sat wrapped in his arms and wept for him and for herself.

_"I wish I was as lucky as you, Lily."_

_"Why?"_

_"Your father actually wants you to go back to him."_

_"To probably call me some other foul names," Lily snorted._

_"No. Maybe he's changed."_

_"What if he didn't?"_

_"If my parents even bothered to send me a letter asking me to go home back then, I would have flew at the chance. Not anymore though, I've come to face the fact that they aren't worth it."_

_"And how do you know my father is worth it?"_

_"I don't. But if he's anything like you, he's worth it."_

_Lily smiled._

_"I'll think about it."_

_"Good," Sirius said, letting out a sigh._

Lily replayed what had happened the night before in her mind. Sirius and her hadn't slept at all. Lily yawned. But she had come to realize that she should take some chances. Her conversation with Sirius had made her realize how much her father meant to her even if he did beat her to take away his pains.

She had decided she was going home. Her quill touched her parchment, and she began to write.

_Dear Father,_

For the first time in days Lily had slept. She was awake and clearly happy. Breakfast that day, Lily placed her name on the list of students going home for Christmas.

_No turning back now._

Allie and Alice were going home too, but it was decided that they would meet up later before going back to Hogwarts.

"You going to the ball?" Allie asked Alice.

Lily's head shot up. "The Potter's ball?"

"Yup," Alice siad.

"You're invited right, Lily?" Allie asked. Lily nodded.

"Are you going?"

"I'm still thinking about it."

"You should go. It'll be fun! I mean Sirius, Remus, Peter, Allie, me, and James are going to be there!" Alice's voice seem to fade as she came to realize that James was going to be there.

"Sorry, Lily. I didn't mean to bring it up."

"I know. It's okay."

"You two have to figure this out. You guys were great friends. I mean even if a relationship isn't going to happen between you two, why can't you be friends?"

Lily shook her head. "It's too complicated to explain."

Allie sighed. Lily picked up her set of books and placed it in the trunk.

"Lily, hurry up! We're going to miss the train."

"I'm coming!" Lily cried. She ran with her trunk to the train and jumped on board. As soon as she reached the train it began to move. Lily sighed in relief and turned to follow Allie for a compartment.

"Omph!" Lily rammed into someone. "Sorry, I wasn't looking." Lily looked up to see James staring down at her. His face free of emotions. Lily blushed.

"I'm sorry," she stammered.

"It's okay, Evans." James turned to leave, his owl's cage in his hand. Lily watched him leave and sighed. Pain seared through her heart as she remembered he called her Evans and not Lily.

"I miss you, James," she whispered to herself. She turned around and went the other way. She walked down the train making sure to catch up with her friends.

_Friendship. Psh...he won't even call me by my first name!_

A/n: Hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review. I love getting them.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: If I owned it you would think I wouldn't be here on FANfiction.

A/N: 'ello people! I know it's a big surprise that I'm updating so soon. I usually update on a weekly basis, but I couldn't resist. Take it as a early holiday present! Enjoy!

"Just Found"

The train ride home was pleasant. Nothing big happened, just the usual chit chats between friends. As the train drew near to its destination students got their things together. They were ready to go home for a nice Christmas break where school was far in the back of their minds.

Lily, Alice, and Allie waited for the train to come to a hault before getting off. Students jostled each other, hugged each other goodbye, and wished each other a Happy Christmas and New Years. Lily dropped her trunk beside her and hugged both Allie and Alice.

"I'm going to miss you!" Lily exclaimed.

"It's only a couple of weeks," Allie laughed.

"Besides, we're meeting up later on right?" Alice asked while hugging Lily. Lily and Allie nodded.

"We'll plan something," Lily said. "Oh my God, I'm going to miss you guys." She hugged them again, and they laughed.

"Have a Happy Christmas, you guys!" Alice exclaimed as she grabbed her stuff and walked towards her mother. Allie looked around the platform and spotted Frank. She hugged Lily one last time before meeting up with her family. Lily was now all alone. She quickly grabbed her things and walked through the platform to get back to the Muggle world, where she was hoping to find her father.

"Lily! Lily!" She looked up to see her father waving at her. She stared at him and swallowed. She rolled her stuff over to him and smiled.

"Hi," Lily greeted. He looked down at her and smiled. Lily got a closer looked at him.

_He's changed. Thinner? He has more gray hairs and there's this yellow tinge to his skin tone. _

"Let me get that for you," he said. He reached for Lily's stuff and carried them. Lily followed behind him as they walked to the car.

The drive home was uncomfortably quiet. Occasionally, Lily caught her father looking at her and then swiftly diverted his eyes.

_How strange?_

"So how's school so far?" her father asked as he opened the door to their house.

"Good," Lily answered. He nodded his head in satisfaction. He handed the trunk to her.

"Why don't you take this upstairs to your room and get your things sorted out." Lily nodded and began her trip up to her room.

"Oh, and Lily when you're done can you come down stairs. I thought we could talk, you know catch up on old times." Lily watched her father silently. He was nervous, she could tell.

"Sure," Lily agreed. He smiled at her and walked away towards the kitchen.

Lily looked in the living room, no one was there. She then went into the kitchen and saw her father getting some coffee.

He looked up as she entered.

"You want anything?" he asked. Lily shook her head and took a seat at the table. She waited silently for him to take a seat. He slid his chair out and sat down. He looked at Lily as if examining her. Self-consciously she dropped her head and began twisting her fingers nervously. He studied her. He smiled at the thought that she resembled her mother so much. He remembered how much he loved her. How their relationship was before he became depressed. Tears glistened in his eyes. He wanted eveything to go back like it was when Lily's mother was alive. He wanted everything to go back to normal. That's when he broke the silent.

"I'm sorry." Lily's head jerked up and her eyes met her father's. His eyes sparkled in the light.

_Are those tears?_

"I'm sorry, Lily," her father said again. He dropped his head in shame. "I didn't handle your mother's death responsibly. I just..." His words were caught in his throat. Hot tears fell down on to his lap. "It just was so hard. I loved her so much. I'm sorry, Lily. I was stupid."

By this time Lily sat there emotions stirring. She badly wanted to cry out in anger at her father, but she also wanted to cry out of happiness. Her father was aplogizing. Maybe he was finally coming to his senses. Maybe he was really sorry.

"I know I did things to you. I'm so ashamed. If you were never to forgive me I would understand. I just needed to try. I already lost your mother I don't need to lose you too." He looked up at his daughter. He no longer tried to hide his tears, and neither did she.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Lily felt obligated to comfort her father. She reached out and placed her hand on top of his. She squeezed it.

"Daddy, I forgive you." He stared loving at her.

"I want you to know that you mean so much to me. I can't lose you. I love you, you hear?"

The first time in years Lily was really happy. Love was what she seeked for so long from her father, and she finally got it. Behind her tears Lily smiled. She laughed. She went over to her father and hugged.

"I wanted to hear that for so long," Lily sighed contently while being held close to her father. Her father kissed her forehead and closed his eyes. He still had her, still had his little girl. He wasn't going to mess up anytime soon.

"Wake up!"

Lily grunted in her sleep. She hugged her blanket closer to her and buried herslef deeper into her bed.

"Wake up, sunshine!"

Lily heard her curtains fly open and the early morning sun beat down on her. She groaned and tried to go back to sleep. She then felt her blanket get pulled away. Lily opened her yes to protest and saw her father standing over her smiling.

"Not a morning person, eh?" he laughed. Lily shook her head and groaned.

"To early."

"To early? For shopping?" he asked.

With those magical words Lily's eyes flew wide opened. "Shopping?"

"Shopping."

"I'm up, I'm up," Lily siad excitedly. Her father laughed. "I'll be downstairs waiting."

Lily ran into the bathroom. It's been awhile since she's been anywhere with her father. She was glad they had a chance to spend some quality time with each other after being apart for so long. Lily sighed happily. The past couple of days with her father were pure bliss. It seemed like a dream to Lily. Her father was showing some effort, showing a great deal of effort, and that made Lily happy.

_He wants to spend time with me, like we use to._

Lily felt like a child again, being spoiled by her father. She smiled as she got dressed. She ran down the stairs to see her father reading the morning paper on the couch. He looked up.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Lily said.

As they walked down the streets, they would occasionally stop in a store and browes around. Lily got a couple of shirts and a pair of jeans. She even got a really pretty dress that her father bought for her. He said it brought out her eyes. Lily loved it! She evened helped him find a couple of things. He laughed when she told him he needed to update his wardrobe.

Time flew by, hours seemed like minutes and minutes seemed like seconds. By the end of the day, both of them were exhausted and carrying tons of bags to the car.

As they walked back it was silent, but not an uncomfortable silent. Out of nowhere her father struk up a conversation.

"So, Lily, is there a guy in your life right now?" her father asked slyly.

"Dad!" Lily cried out laughing.

Silence.

"If there was, I really should know," he said teasingly. She laughed.

"No, there's no one."

"A beautiful girl like you. I don't believe it!" Lily smiled at her father.

"Well, there is this one guy..."

She couldn't sleep. Christmas was the next day, and she knew she really needed to. It was late afterall. Lily crept down the stairs, hoping to get some hot chocalate. She opened the door to the kitchen and saw her father standing by the counter. He hadn't heard her come in. She stood there watching him and saw that he was taking some medication. She didn't know he was sick!

"Daddy, are you sick?"

Startled, he dropped the medicine container, and it rolled towards Lily. Lily bent down to pick it up.

"Lily."

Lily read the lable.

_Leukemia._

Lily shook her head and blinked back her tears.

"Lily?"

"Tell me you don't have cancer, please!" Lily pleaded him. She looked at him hopefully, hoping it was just one big joke.

"I'm sorry, Lily."

"You can't have cancer! You just can't! We just resolved our problems, and you're sick now! It's not fair. I don't want to lose you." Lily cried. She was doing that a lot lately, crying.

"You won't lose me," he said.

"How long have you known?"

"Three months."

"Does Petunia know?" Lily asked.

"No, not yet."

"When were you planning to tell us? What would we do if something happened? We're your daughters. We need to know if our father is in the risk of dieing!"

"Lily, listen..."

"Daddy, maybe the Healers can heal you," Lily said hopefully.

"No. Even if they can I won't let them."

"What!" Lily asked confused and outraged.

"Cancer's taught me something, Lily. It taught me to appreciate life and what life gives me. You, Lily. Cancer taught me that you and Petunia mean the world to me. If I'm gonna die any second in my life right now I don't want to pass away knowing that I didn't try my best to fix my relationship with my daughters!"

"But you might leave us," Lily cried. "Don't you want to stay with us?"

Her father walked towards her. "Of course, but if it's meant to be, it's meant to be."

"Well, it's not meant to be then!" Lily cried. She wanted to throw a tantrum, to get all her emotions out in the open.

"Lily..."

"I don't want to hear it!" Lily's father went over to hug her.

"Daddy, you can't leave me," she sobbed into her father's shirt. She clung to him tightly, almost as if she was scared that he would fade away any minute.

"Shh..." He patted her comfortingly on the back like a child.

Lily tried to hold in her tears, but they just kept coming.

To Lily, Christmas day wasn't going as plan. She prayed for a miracle that maybe everything about her father was just a really bad nightmare. She had just found her father, she couldn't lose him again.

A/N: How was it? Was it good or bad? Opinions here please. I really want to know how I'm doing, but don't be so harsh, please!

Um...was this what anyone was expecting, the confrontation between Lily and her father?


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Only one person owns Harry Potter, and it isn't me!

A/N: Hey, a lot of you guys were wondering why Petunia isn't home for the holidays. Well, in this story she's married and since her relationship with her dad isn't good she didn't come home even if he did ask her to, but I really don't tell you that in the story because it's not really important. Anyways, in the previous chapters I just realized they didn't put my seperation mark thingies so sorry about that. I'll make sure they'll have it in this. Now, on with the story.

"Time for a Chat"

The Christmas holiday wasn't really what Lily imagined it to be, but she tried to make the best of it. Sure, her father having cancer changed everything, but it made Lily realize how much more she loved her father. She spent more time with him, just because she realize that she may lose him soon. She didn't have time extra time to spend with her mother because the accident was so sudden, but seeing that her father knew what was to come Lily needed, wanted to have memories to look back on even if he did survive the cancer. She wanted those memories to treasure for life.

"What's that?" her father asked her. He held the object and placed in one hand and then the other.

"Oh, that's a replica of a snitch," Lily informed.

"A what?"

"It's an object used in a wizarding sport." Her father nodded his head in interest. They were sitting in the living room looking through Lily's trunk. She wanted him to share in her life as a witch in the wizarding world. Lily reached in her trunk and pulled out several of her text books. Her father flipped through each one in awe. Often he asked he would ask questions and, in turn, Lily would explain.

Her father reached for a letter in Lily's trunk. He opened it.

"Lily?"

"Hmm."

"What's this?" he asked. Lily glanced up and looked over her father's shoulder.

"Oh, an invitation to a ball on New Year's Eve," she replied and looked away.

"Are you going?" Lily shook her head. "I want to stay here with you," sh said smiling.

"Lily, you should go," he told her.

"But..."

"I don't want you to sacrafice your social life just because you want to spend time with your old man. Go have fun! I'm going to be hear when you come back. We can hang out then."

"I suppose," Lily said hesitantly.

"Go, have fun."

Lily nodded her head and smiled at her father.

It was decided Lily was to go to the ball and then spend the rest of the holidays at Alice's house until they return to Hogwarts. Lily wasn't sure how she felt about going. It was a mix of feelings. She wanted to go and have fun. She wanted to see her friends again. Then there was the other side. She was nervous. How was she going to react when she saw James again? She wanted to talk to him, clear things up, but would he accept her?

(SPACE)

"Dad?"

"I'm down here!" his voice drifted upstairs into Lily's room. Lily glanced at herself one last time in the mirror, making sure everything was in place. Her green dressed brought out her eyes and hair. It seemed like it was meant for her and only her. She had placed her hair up, letting a few strands fall into her face. She had applied little makeup and clear lipgloss.

Lily twirled around one last time and then grabbed her stuff. She ran down the stairs to see her father waiting for her.

She hugged him tightly, and he held on.

"My beautiful little girl," he whispred in her ear. He kissed her on the forehead and hugged her again.

They broke apart.

"Have fun."

"I will," Lily answered smiling at her father. "Take your medication everyday, get plenty of rest, listen to the doctor, don't miss an appointment, and just take care of yourslef, you hear?"

"You sound like you're the parent," her father laughed.

"Dad..."

"I'll take care of myself and you do the same." Lily nodded and kissed him on the cheek.

"Send me letters!" she cried and she apparated to Alice's house to drop her things off.

(SPACE)

With a pop Lily appeared standing in Alice's room.

"Alice?" Lily cried.

"In the bathroom." Lily placed her things by the foot of the bed and walked into the bathroom. Alice was busy applying a small amount of makeup.

"Hey!"

"Hey," Lily greeted back. Alice backed away from the mirror and looked at her reflection. She then looked at Lily.

"Good?"

"Perfect," Lily commented. Alice smiled.

"You look so beautiful!" Alice cried. Lily smiled back modestly. "You too."

They walked out of the bathroom. "You had a good Chirstmas?" Alice nodded and then, as if struck by a great idea, broke into a big smile.

"Look," Alice commanded. She shook her wrist and it made a small jingling sound.

"Oh my, that's so gorgeous!" Lily gasped out when she saw the bracelet. It was silver and decorated with little charms of magical items that moved by itself. Then in the midde was a carving of Alice's name.

"Who got it for you?" Lily asked amazed, still staring at the charms.

"My secret admirer."

Lily smiled. Everything was going perfect, the plan was rolling in action.

(SPACE)

The party was on full blast when they got there. Alice and Lily searched for Allie, finally spotting her near Sirius and Remus. Lily and Alice squeezed past people just to get through. They occasionally stopped to greet a friend.

"Lily! You decided to come!" Sirius cried out in excitement. Lily smiled and kissed him on the cheek. She then did the same for Remus.

"Happy Christmas?" she asked them, and they both nodded.

"You?" Lily smiled. "Perfect."

Sirius smiled so widely that it should have hurt his face, but that smiled remained on. He was happy for Lily. Her and her father had resolved their little problem. He hugged her.

"I'm glad to hear that," he whispered in her ear.

Lily broke away.

"Where's James? I need to talk to him." Sirius, Remus, and Allie looked away.

"Not sure," they lied, but Lily didn't notice. "I'll be right back," she said. She scanned the heads of the almost endless amount of people. Finally, she spotted a mop of black, untidy hair, and she knew immediatly that it could only belong to one person, James Potter.

She started walking towards him, pushing past people. She was nervous as hell. She wanted to run the other way, but she needed to do what she was going to do. If she didn't, she knew she would later regret it. Going home to her father made her realize so much. She had gained her self- confidence back, and her self- esteem. She finally understood that, sure, she wasn't perfect, but she was good enough for anyone who actually deserved her. She wanted to try, needed to try and get James back into her life because he was the best thing that happened to her in a very long time.

Lily touched him lightly on the shoulder. He turned around, and his eyes opened slighlty wider. Lily smiled a small smile at him.

"James, we need to talk."

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It means so, so much to me.

IMPORTANT: I've finally decided to make this story 20 chapters and that's all. I was debating on whether or not to make it 18 chapters, but decided I needed two extra chapters to get the story through. Also a sequel was suppose to come, but I usually can't read sequels, so I doubt I could write one.

Please, please review for this chapter! I want to know what you think is going to happen. I'll be really interested in your theories.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.

A/N: Sorry, for the wait my computer broke down and had to be fixed. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Happy Holidays!

Previously:

Lily touched him lightly on the shoulder. He turned around, and his eyes opened slighlty wider. Lily smiled a small smile at him.

"James, we need to talk."

SPACE

"If You're..."

"Lily?" James stuttered, surprised. He shook his head slightly.

"I mean Evans." Lily frowned a little.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Sirius invited me," she told him. James stared at her somewhat mesmerized.

_As beautiful as ever._

Self-consciously, Lily tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and bit her lip. For a moment she forgot that she needed to talk with him, but it didn't last long. She looked up into his hazel eyes with her green ones and began.

"James?"

"Yes," he answered rather hesitantly.

"About what happened before the break..." Lily began, but James cut her off.

"Listen, I understand. You don't need to explain." He didn't want to here it. What happened was over. He really didn't want her to explain everything and just make it worse. Even if she didn't know that she was doing it. Lily shook her head.

"No, I do." James placed his two hands firmly on her shoulders, and shook his head.

"Evans, I mean it. You don't have to explain."

"Lily," she said. James offered her a small smile.

"Lily, you don't have to explain."

"But I want to," she protested. "It was a mistake." For a second James' hold on her loosened, and his face's expression changed.

"What do you mean?" James asked unsteadily.

Lily smiled shyly at James. She was ready to confess. Her nerves were slowly uncoiling.

"James, I want to be you. I was stupid to ever let you go. I really did like you. I was just scared out of my wits and in denial." She said this all with a small laugh. Then the nerves kicked backed in. Lily stared at him.

"I'll understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. After all you've been through. I'm sorry about how I reacted. I just needed to tell you how I felt because, James, you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Kinda sad, isn't it?" Lily asked with a small smile placed on her lips. James shook his head. "No, it isn't." He looked at her sadly. Emotions running wild inside him.

"You know I've never been the type of girl to ask a guy out, but, James, will you go out with me?"

Those were the words James Potter been waiting to hear for the past 7 years of his life. Lily Evans wanted to be with him. She asked him out and not the other way around, but then something dawned on him. Something that would break her heart, and he didn't want to be the one to bring it upon her.

"Lily, look..."

SPACE

For a moment, time stood still for Lily. A beautiful girl with brown hair stood beside James. She smiled happily up at him. She gave him his drink and stood smiling at Lily. Lily's eyes traveled down to James and the mysterious girl's entertwined hands, and she knew he had found someone else.

Lily looked up at James and smiled. James looked at her, scared that she would break at any moment. This wasn't how he wanted the news to get to Lily.

"Lily?" he asked gently. She smiled at him and then she looked at the girl. She placed her hand out for the girl to shake.

"Lily Evans."

"Michelle Ryan." Michelle looked at James and asked with a smile, "Do you know her from Hogwarts?" James nodded his head.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet one of James' friends," Michelle said enthusiastically.

"I better be going. I don't want to intrude. It was nice to meet you Michelle." Lily turned to leave, but a hand gripped her shoulder. She turned around, and Michelle was looking confusingly between James and her.

"Lily..."

"It's okay, James." Lily removed his hand from her shoulder. She went up and hugged him tight. He returned it.

"Friends?" Lily whispered in his ear.

"Mmhmm." Lily slowly backed away and kissed him lightly on the cheek and then turned and left.

James watched her fade into the crowd. Was this really how everything was going to end up? Was this really how it was suppose to happen?

"James?" James looked down and saw Michelle looking worriedly at him. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's fine," he responded, but his eyes still scanned the crowd hoping to get a glimpse of the red headed girl.

SPACE

Heart broken, Lily stepped outside. Her glass cup still in hand, she wished she had brought her coat out with her. She took a sip of her fire whiskey, hoping it would warm her up slightly. Lily stared at the night sky and saw beautiful stars glittering infinitly.

_I was the one to let go, not him. I am to be blamed._ _He was the one chasing after you. He always asked you out and and, in then end, you're the one who's chasing him. _

Lily laughed at the irony and took another sip from her glass. Inside, the clock finally struck twelve and the countdown began.

As the clock chimed for the last time, cheers echoed the house. Fireworks filled the night sky. Lily lifted her glass towards the sky and whispered a happy new year. She swallowed the last of her drink and went in for more. The new year wasn't really going as she planned.

A/N: How was it? Review please! It'll be a great Christmas present! )


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: JKR owns HP.

A/N: Hello people, thanks for the reviews. I loved them, made me really, really happy. Some parts of this chapter may seem irrelevant, but it's good to look back. ;)

"Memories"

Lily's POV

My heart was shattered. He had moved on, and I was but a distant love, a friend. He was not to be blamed, though. I was the one to be blamed for my own pain.

He had always been persistent, never gave up even after my many rejections. Sometimes, I remembered wondering if it was possible that he was more stubborn then I. I remembered wondering if he would ever give up, ever get the hint, but the answer back then was always, no. But I guess the painful truth is, no matter how stubborn a person is, no matter how persistent, there was always a breaking point. A point where a person voluntarily gives up all hope and just does their best to forget, James had reached that point.

He had loved me once and that was good enough for me, to know that I've been loved by someone as special to me as him. He had touched my heart, taught me things I thought I would never learn, never experience. He changed me for the better, and I had no way to repay him. I doubt he even knows he changed be that much.

He's my first love, and he holds a special place in my heart. If it is destined for someone else to be the one to make him happy, and not me, I will accept that fate. For the past couple of months he made me happy, the happiest I felt in a long, long time. If he's happy with Michelle, then I'm happy for him. He deserves a lot of things, and if that girl can give it to him, I'll allow myself to fade into the background to become a wall flower. I'll be satisfied with one of those charming, full hearted smile he gives off that makes a room light up. Maybe, later when I forget and move on, I'll find someone to do just the same, someone who will love me for being me and for the flaws that distinguish me from the perfect. He is willing to love me whole heartedly, with no hesitation.

I gave up James, I could have fought for him, but would that had made him truly happy. After all, love is being able to sacrifice one's own happiness for their love ones'.

…

_Allie and Alice grabbed their trunks and rolled it forward, but Lily stood there soaking in the site and people. This was really the last time she'll ever take the Hogwarts' train to, well, Hogwarts. Lily's eyes darted from one end of the platform to the other passing first year students, friends catching up with each other, a guy leaning against a wall…_

_Lily eyes flew back to the guy she just passes. She couldn't believe. It was James Potter. She didn't even recognize him at first. James grew a couple more inches, he was more built, and he wasn't causing any mayhem. Lily stood there gaping at him. Lily didn't know how she knew, but she knew somehow James had changed, more mature in a way._

…

_Maybe James did change. Maybe we can actually be friends._

…

_Lily watched Remus creep up on the hysterical James and pushed him into the lake as well. She heard his scream of surprise when he hit the water, and she laughed along with the rest of the Marauders._

…

"_Potter, we have to have a meeting."_

"_Sure," he said, "name the place and time."_

"_Tonight at 7, in the Head's Common Room."_

"_Fine with me."_

_James walked away from Lily who was watching his retreating back._

"_Don't be late, Potter!"_

"_Wouldn't dream of it, Evans!"_

_Lily smiled._

…

"_You're not so bad. I think we can actually be friends, Potter."_

_He turned to look at her and smiled._

"_James, Lily, the name's James."_

_Lily laughed._

"_Well, _**James**_, I'll see you later," she said._

"_Don't miss me too much," Lily joked._

_He laughed and walked out of the door, but before he closed the door he said to Lily, "Already missing you, Lily."_

…

"_Rock," I said._

"_Paper," James responded, "and it beats rock."_

"_No fair!" I protested. "You cheated!"_

_James laughed at me. "Lily, I won, accept it!"_

"_Never!" I giggled._

…

"_Always a charmer," Lily said a hint of jealousy hidden behind her voice. James just looked at her._

"_Jealous?" Sirius whispered into her ear smirking. Lily hit him across the head and glared. He laughed it off. "Denial isn't good for your health," he said._

"_Shut up," Lily said scowling._

…

"_What? Do I have something on my face?" he joked._

_Lily shook her head feeling heat rise up to her face at being caught looking. He laughed._

"_We better go in," Lily commented. She began to walk away from James' protective arm._

"_Lily, wait," he cried out. She turned around confused. He took a step towards her. They were close enough that if he wanted to he could kiss her. Lily felt her stomach flutter. Her heart beat increased, and she felt like she couldn't speak even if she wanted to._

"_Yes," she said unsteadily._

_James looked down at her, peering into her green eyes. His fingers gently brushed her skin. Lily didn't breathe and just stared at James. She felt his hand reach up for something on her head._

"_There was something in you hair," he said holding up a red leaf._

_Lily blushed lightly._

"_Oh, thanks."_

"_We better get in soon. It's getting dark."_

_Lily just nodded and together they walked the remaining steps back inside._

…

"_James!" Lily's voice came floating into the room._

"_Lily?"_

"_Where are you?"_

"_Don't come in!" he cried._

"_Why not?" Lily asked as she came into view. She looked at James in nothing but his towel and screamed. She quickly covered her eyes with her hands._

"_I'm so sorry. I didn't know you…uh… just came out of the shower."_

_James couldn't stop himself from flushing red. He noticed that even behind her hands Lily was embarrassed._

"_It's okay. I should have told you sooner."_

"_I'll just be leaving. I'll talk to you later."_

"_Yeah," James agreed._

_James watched Lily leave with her hands still covering her eyes._

…

"_I hope you and Baker have a happy life together," she said straight to his face._

"_Jealous?" James asked all of a sudden angry at the how hard headed Lily was being. Lily laughed._

"_No," she lied._

"_I think you're mad at me because I was kissing her instead of you," he accused her. He took a step towards her._

"_That's a lie!" she exclaimed in her own defense._

"_Admit it, Evans," he said, "you're jealous that you weren't the one I kissed."_

_Lily shook her head. "Why would I be jealous of her? I don't want you to kiss me. It's the last thing in the world I would want."_

"_Are you sure?" James asked._

"_Of course, I'm sure!" she exclaimed._

"_Then you wouldn't mind if I did this would you?" he asked, but before Lily could answer his lips were against her. Lily fought back at first, but she slowly lost herself. How was she supposed to withstand the kisses of the guy she was attracted to?_

_All the passion they held for each other was released. Lily gently pressed her lips against his. His hands gently played with her hair that dangled between his fingers. Her hands seemed to draw little circles around his neck. Lily could smell his cologne and tried memorizing it. Her eyes closed, she felt complete for once. James lightly pulled away from her and stood there holding her in his arms. He stared at her lovingly, she stared at him._

…

"_I love you, Lily."_

…

Lily took another sip of her fire whiskey and felt it run down her throat, leaving a burning sensation. Lily's head was spinning.

"Lily?" Sirius asked.

Lily turned around and saw double. She held her hand to her head and groaned.

"I'm not feeling to well, Siriussssssss," Lily slurred. Sirius took a seat next to her and automatically Lily placed her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes and hummed a soft melody.

"You really shouldn't be drinking so much, Lily," Sirius said. His forehead creased with worry.

"I'm going to have a horrible hangover tomorrow, won't I?" she asked as she slowly got up. She was unsteady and everything kept spinning.

"Wee!" she exclaimed, drunk as the world around her spun uncontrollably and she followed.

"Lily, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Shit." Lily said, "I think I'm going to be sick!"

Lily knelt down and threw up. When she was done she fell to the ground, completely out. Sirius whispered an incantation and the vomit disappeared. He picked Lily up and carried her back to the house where the party was slowly dieing down. He was going to have to bring her to Alice's house himself with the state she was in.

Sirius looked down at the sleeping Lily. Her head cuddle against him.

Lily unconsciously whispered, "James." Nobody heard the soft cry, but if one did hear it, no one would be able to deny that the whisper came from someone deeply in love.

A/N: How was it? Please review.

AHHH, I can't believe there are only **3 CHAPTERS LEFT!**

Silent readers: The least you can do is drop a small comment. If really does make a difference.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter you would know it.

A/N: This update will be one of the quicker ones because school is starting soon, and I'll be super busy. Never fear, though, if I don't update in a real long time after this you can throw food at me. ;) By the way, thanks to those who reviewed. Chapter 17 was the most reviewed chapter. Yeah!

"Turning It Around"

They watched from the window as Frank revealed himself to Alice as her secret admirer. Lily and Allie sighed happily as Alice threw her arms around Frank in pure joy.

Allie turned to look at Lily.

"Did you know?" she asked.

"About Frank?" Lily asked still looking down at her two friends.

"Yeah," Allie responded.

Lily nodded her head. "I gave Frank the idea of being Alice's secret admirer. He told me he liked her, but he didn't know how to confront her."

Allie leaned against the window sill. "I'm glad you did. I want to see them happy." Lily smiled and silently agreed.

"Do you know what this means now?" Allie asked her smiling. Lily shook her head.

"If they get married, Alice is going to be my sister-in-law!" she cried out in excitement. Lily laughed aloud making her friend do the same.

She looked down at the couple to see them leaning towards each other. Silently, Lily closed the window.

"We shouldn't disturb," she said to Allie.

"We'll leave them to confess their love for each other," Allie said winking. She then left the room. Lily went to lie down at her bed.

Silence filled the room as she looked up and stared at the ceiling, thinking. James had spoken few words to her, and vice versa, since they came back to Hogwarts, but it was a start. Her heart still yearned for his love, but she controlled her hormones. They had made it clear to one another that they would move on and just be friends.

_James had succeeded. Why can't I? _

To Lily it had seemed so easy for James to move.

_Did I really push him that far? Was I too harsh? _

Lily laughed bitterly at the thought. Back then she wanted to get James as far away from her as possible that she might have just pushed him over the edge. Now that she wanted him she felt like she didn't have the power or strength to pull him back over.

Slowly, tears begin gathering and silently fell on to her bed sheet, leaving small, wet stains. Tonight, Lily decided, she would relax by the lake. She desperately needed it. With that Lily closed her eyes and tried to forget.

…

**LATER:**

"Don't start, Padfoot," James warned.

"Prongs…" Sirius started.

"Padfoot," James warned again, "don't."

Sirius grumbled as he sat down on his bed.

"I know what you're trying to do," James said, "and I'm not falling for it."

Sirius stared at James. "Prongs, you're the closest thing I have to a brother, and I'm not going to sit here and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life."

"And what's that?" James asked.

Sirius sighed. "Don't pick Michelle, pick Lily. You know you want to. She's the one that makes you truly happy. She's the one for you, mate."

"I think I know who's best for me," James said rather calmly. "I'm staying with Michelle." Sirius groaned.

"I don't want you to regret later on," Sirius advised.

"Why would I regret?"

"You're not over her. Go after her before she gets over you."

"I'm over Lily. We're just friends."

"Is that really what you want, to be _just _friends?" Sirius asked him with one of his eyebrows lifted.

"I don't need to hear this, Padfoot," James said as he got up from his seat. He grabbed his invisibility cloak and left. Sirius sighed.

_At least I tried. I'm sure Prongs will think it through now._

…

Lily wrapped her cloak and blanket tighter around her. She stared out at the dark, clear lake. Lily sighed, being outside by the rippling water always clamed her down. Lily closed her eyes and sharpened her hearing. Crickets and leaves rustling filled the air.

Lily began to hum and then slowly her voice surfaced. Her clear, soft, sweet, beautiful voice filled the air around her. Lily was beginning to feel a lot better about things.

"Lily?"

Startled, Lily stopped singing and spun around, her eyes wide and wand drawn. When she saw it was James she sighed.

"James, I thought it was someone else. Sorry." She dropped her wand and placed it in her cloak.

"You want to sit?" Lily asked, patting the ground next to her. James smiled and nodded. Lily turned around and stared at the lake again.

James sat down on the slightly damp grass and turned to look at Lily.

"You have a really beautiful voice," he complimented her.

Silence.

James glanced over at her and noticed a blush creep onto her face.

"I don't like singing in front of people," Lily finally said, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"You should do it more often," James said. Lily looked at him.

"Sing in front of others," he clarified. "You're really good."

Again Lily blushed. "Thanks," she said.

Silence filled the air as both of them stared out at the vast lake.

"What are you doing out here?" James asked her, curious.

Lily sighed, "I needed to get my mind off of something. Besides, it's beautiful out here."

"You don't expect me to let you have it all for your self, do you?" she asked jokingly. James laughed.

"It really is quite breathtaking, isn't it?" Lily nodded her head and took a great big inhale of air.

"Just spectacular," Lily said as she threw her hands up in the air and lied down. James followed.

"What are _you_ doing out here?" Lily asked.

"To think." Lily wrinkled her nose at the answer.

"That's boring," she said.

James laughed, "Thanks."

Lily smiled and looked up at the stars. James turned his head and stared at Lily. Lily, feeling eyes on her, turned her head to be greeted by James'. She smiled.

"Do you think this is weird?" James suddenly asked.

"What?" Lily asked. James used his hand to prop himself up onto his side.

Staring down at Lily, he said, "This relationship." The sparkle in Lily's eyes disappeared.

"Friendship?" Lily asked.

"Kind of," James said awkwardly. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Our relationship is more complicated then that, you know it."

Lily sighed, "I suppose, but I don't want it to be."

"Me neither," James grumbled. "It's so complicated and confusing." Lily remained silent and listened, but James didn't say any more.

Lily lied there wondering if this meant James…

_Stop hoping, stop dreaming._

Lily sighed. She stood up and brushed the grass off of her clothes.

"I'm going in," she told James. James got up.

"Same, it's getting chilly."

Silence started the walk, but halfway there James needed to know.

"Lily?"

"Hmm."

"Is this really how we're supposed to end up?" Lily glanced at him for a second.

"I don't know. This wasn't really how I imagined it." James nodded his head understandingly.

"I always saw is together, happy," James confessed truthfully. Lily smiled shyly

"It didn't turn out that way," Lily said. James nodded sadly.

"Do you want it to?" James asked suddenly out of the blues. Lily looked at him; not expecting him to asked her that.

Of course she wanted that. She wanted them to be a couple and happy, but James wanted…

_Why is he confusing me? We had ever thing planned. We were to be friends, and it was going just fine. Why is he bringing this up?_

Unable to answer, Lily shrugged. "It doesn't matter what I want right now. What do you want?"

James stopped in his track. Lily stopped too. He looked at her; she gave him a small, sad smile and then went on her way. James just stood there watching her leave, again.

…

**James' POV**

What do I want? Did I really move on? Do I really want to live the rest of my life without Lily? I promised myself that I wouldn't let my heart be broken again. I promised myself Lily wouldn't shatter my heart again, but what if…

A/N: Okay, I need some feedback on this chapter. I'm feeling that this wasn't my best chapter, but it is important for the "blank". (Fill in the blank) ;). Hahaha, I'm so evil.

Please leave a **review**. It truly, truly does make a difference. Oh my, just **2 more chapters left!**

**To:**

A fan of this story: the title is French. It means literally, "Goodbye to Low self confidence" I felt like if the title was in English it would sound stupid, so I decided to make a French title. Titles that look or sound different attract my attention.

**Important: **

I am not doing a sequel, but I will be writing other stories.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own it.

A/N: I'm SO sorry for the wait. I had a bad case of writer's block and was super busy.

"Perfection"

_"I love you not because you're perfect, but because you're perfect for me." Anonymous _

"Alice, can we go yet?" Allie asked, wrapping her arms around herself to keep warm outside the boys' locker room. "It's freezing."

"Allie, I'm waiting to congratulate Frank," Alice said shivering, "Just five more minutes."

"Why can't you congratulate him later?" Allie asked.

"Please," Lily pleaded. She was rubbing her hands together and jumping slightly up and down, off the ground.

"One more minute," Alice said.

"Alice, I'm cold!" Allie exclaimed, "Please!" Alice sighed. Lily grabbed her arm and pulled her along, back to the castle.

"Besides, it's not like he caught the snitch," Lily explained as their voices faded in the wind.

"I know, but…"

…

"I love parties," Sirius exclaimed, "Booze all around!"

James shook his head and chuckled. "Hot girls, dancing, jokes, make out sessions," Sirius said while counting off all the things he liked about parties.

"Padfoot, is that all you care about?" James asked.

Sirius looked at him and snapped his fingers. "Of course not! There's the food. How could I forget the food?"

"Now my favorite is the…" Sirius babbled on as they walked out of the locker room.

…

"Sirius, get off the table!" Lily shouted over the blasting music. Sirius bent over and screamed, "What?"

"Get off the table!" Sirius placed his hands by his ears indicating that he couldn't hear. Lily shook her head in frustration.

"Never mind!" she exclaimed, giving up.

"What?" Lily sighed, clamped her hands over her ears, and walked away. She needed to sit down. As she pushed her way towards the couch, two hands abruptly grabbed her shoulders. Lily grabbed her wand from under her cloak, ready to curse her attacker.

"Whoa, calm down Lily. I just need you to hide me."

Instantly, Lily relaxed. She recognized the voice, James.

"What for?" she asked as she was guided away from the couch. She turned to look at James, expecting an answer.

"Don't look at me. She'll know." Lily arched one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows.

"Turn around," James commanded. Lily did as he told.

"Baker's looking for me," he explained, "and I really don't want to talk to her."

"And why are you using me as a shield?" she asked, "I'm not a great one, you know?"

James chuckled, "I know, but Baker's scared of you."

"Huh?"

"I heard her muttering to her friends one day about something you did to her," he told her.

"Really?" Lily smirked.

"You know anything about it?" he asked her as he ducked when Camille glared at Lily.

"No, she must have been lying," Lily lied. Behind her James nodded his head.

Lily wore a smug smile, knowing that the punch she had given hadn't been forgotten. Camille was still glaring at her, so Lily waved at her. Camille frowned and spun around and left. Lily giggled.

"It's safe now," Lily turned around and told James.

"Good," he said as he stood straight up. Lily tried to stifle a yawn as she arched her back and threw her hands up in the air.

"I'm tired. Can you handle everyone by yourself, James?" James frowned.

Lily turned to go upstairs. She had had enough with the victory party. She needed to rest. James grabbed her wrist. Lily turned around, confused. James dropped her hand.

"Wait, I need to talk to you." Lily nodded slowly, waiting for him to begin. James took in a deep breathe as he watched Lily.

"Somewhere else," he explained.

"What if something happened?" Lily asked him, glancing around at the party.

"Remus'll take care of it," James assured.

"I suppose he will if he isn't already drunk."

"He's not," James said.

Lily nodded. James held her hand as he guided her out of the mob of people around them. Lily glanced down at their intertwined hands and couldn't help think that it felt just right.

_He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. We're friends, that's it!_

As Lily closed the portrait behind them, James still didn't let go of her hand.

_Maybe he forgot._

She wasn't sure where they were going, but the surroundings seemed familiars. Lily glanced over at James, who face was etched with concentration. Lily curiosity grew when she notice they circled the same corridor over and over. Just as she was going to ask James what they were doing a door suddenly appeared. James looked over at Lily and smiled.

"Where did it come from?" she asked amazed.

"Magic," James said.

"I love magic!" Lily whispered excitedly. James laughed as he guided her into the room. Lily looked around the room and finally sat down next to a rather amused James. Lily turned to look at him, smiling.

"What?" she asked.

"You've been in here before," James said amused.

"I have?" Lily asked confused. James nodded, smiling.

"That time when I pulled you here, against your will," James began.

"And where we shared our first kiss," Lily finished slightly pink in the face. James nodded.

Silence.

Lily looked at her folded hands on her lap.

_What was he trying to do?_

"We broke up." Lily head sprung up, eyes wide.

"What? Broke up?"

"Michelle and I, we broke up. Actually, I broke up with her, but she wanted to, too. " he said, "She thought I had someone else in mind, and I think she's right."

"Who?" Lily asked softly. James sifted over. Lily bowed her head down.

"You."

Just that word made her heart soar, but there was always that one doubt.

"But I'm not perfect."

James lifted her chin up so that she was looking up to him, her green eyes into his hazel eyes.

"You don't need to be perfect, I like you just the way you are." Lily eyes brighten, sparkled.

"You are an angel," he whispered while he held her hand gently in his'.

"I want to be with you, Lily…"

James was cut off as Lily's lips connected with his. He soon held her as his hands wounded around her waist. They stayed like that for awhile. When they broke apart, both of them were breathing heavily.

"So that's a yes?"

Lily nodded smiling, "Definitely."

"Good, cause I wasn't going to take no as an answer," James whispered. He went in for another kiss. Lily smiled shyly and held her finger up against his lip. James arched his eyebrows two inched away from her face. Lily giggled as her hands reached up for him. James smirked.

"You sure like control," he joked. Lily nodded and went in for the kiss.

**A/N**: Sorry, if this wasn't the best chapter. I had a real hard time writing this, but please leave some reviews! Tell me what you thought about it.

**One chapter! The epilogue, oh my!)**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: This is the last time I'm ever going to write a disclaimer for this story, and I want to make it clear to everyone, I DON"T OWN IT!

A/N: You've reached the end of the journey, and to know you've kept with this story since whenever you started reading it makes me feel real great! **This chapter is dedicated to all my reader, the ones who reviewed, even the silent! Hope you enjoy!**

"The Epilogue: Otherwise Known as Happily Ever After"

"One more kiss!" James cried as he chased after a hysterical red head.

"No!" she shrieked as she barely escaped her captor.

"How 'bout a small peck?" Lily shook her head feverishly. "Come on Lily!"

Lily laughed as she ran away from James' grasp. She came to a stop as she stared at James, her green eyes sparkling with mirth. James stopped too, with a playful smirk on his face.

"You can't just get a kiss anytime you want, James," Lily explained.

"Why not?" he whined, and Lily laughed.

"Because I won't allow it," she said.

"Well, then I'll have to make you!" James exclaimed as he began running towards her. Lily shrieked and began to run.

"Gotcha!" James cried in triumph as he leapt forward and wrapped his arms around Lily's waist protectively. He pulled her towards him as he held onto her tightly.

"Now give me a kiss, or I won't let you go!" Lily struggled against James.

"No," she laughed. She was stuck against James struggling helplessly.

"I don't take no as an answer," James said. He leaned towards her with a playful smirk and a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.

"James," Lily warned giggling, "let me go!"

James' lips caught her in a kiss. Lily's giggling stopped as she responded to James. Lily pressed her lips against his harder as she began falling deeper into the kiss. His arms around her waist began to loosen as one of his hands played with her hair. Lily allowed her arms to wrap around his neck for support as her knees began to buckle.

"My innocent eyes!"

Caught in the moment, James and Lily both jumped away surprised. James annoyed by the sudden interruption scanned the surrounding. He reached out for Lily and held onto her.

"Prongs, up here!"

James glanced up towards the castle and saw his three best mates' heads hanging out the window. They were laughing as James sighed and leaned his head on top of Lily's.

Sirius did some wolf calls. "Get a room you two!"

Lily, standing in front of James began to blush. James picked up a rock and chucked it at his friends, purposely missing. The three marauders laughed as they retreated back into the window.

"Have fun!" came Sirius' voice, floating out the window. When it was certain that the three Marauders were inside and out of hearing range, Lily turned to James.

"Well, that was embarrassing," Lily said, slightly pink.

"Embarrasing?" James asked chuckling. Lily nodded. James draped his arm around Lily's shoulder. Lily tilted her head up to look at James, and he looked down at her.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure they won't make fun of you," he said teasingly.

Lily cuddled against him.

"I know you will. You're my prince charming, my knight in shining armor." James gave an appreciative laugh. Lily smiled back.

…

"You happy, Prongs?" Sirius asked James. The Marauders were in their dorm. They were all stretched out on their own beds.

"The happiest I've been in a _long_ time, mate," James told him, sighing happily.

"You guys are good for each other," Remus said.

"I can't get enough of her. I just want to be with her all the time. I can't… ugh!"

"Oh man, he's going all mushy on us, Moony!" Sirius cried. James chucked a pillow at him, hitting him square in the face.

"You didn't just do that."

"Oh no!" cried Remus.

"Pillow fight!" Sirius and James screamed in unison.

…

The girls were sitting in front of the fire, chatting. They were in their pajamas, and Alice was braiding Lily's hair.

"How's everything going?" Allie asked as she leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees.

"Me and James?"

"I want to know too!" Alice exclaimed.

Lily beamed. "Wonderful!"

"It's only been like two weeks," Alice said.

"I know, but there's something special," Lily tried to explain, "a spark."

"You're in love!" Allie cried as she leaped towards Lily. She hugged her feverishly.

"You're in love!" Allie sang. Alice giggled as Allie smothered Lily in a hug.

…

"Sweetheart, what are you doing?" James asked Lily when he found her in the owlery.

"Sending a letter," Lily said laughing, "that's what you do in the owlery." James chuckled.

"That's what you do in the owlery," repeated James, "how could I forget?"

"Let me just send this to my dad. Then we can go eat dinner!" James nodded his head.

Lily gave her letter to her owl and gave it instructions to go straight to her dad.

"Don't leave until he gives back a reply," she told it.

She saw the owl fly away before she walked towards James. James held her hand in his and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"Ready?"

"Yup!"

…

Mr. Evans was fast asleep when an owl hooting woke him. He groggily rubbed at his eyes. He smiled at the owl. The owl only meant one thing, Lily. Mr. Evans got a hold of the letter and opened it.

_Dear Daddy,_

_I hope you're feeling better. Are you taking your medications? Going to your doctor appointments? Daddy, please take care of your self. I don't know what will happen if I lost you…_

_Dad, you're right I took your advice, and something great came out of going to the New Year's Ball. Remember the guy I told you about, James Potter, well we're together. With him, I've been the happiest I've been in a long time. I'm hoping he could come over and meet you. You'll love him! I still haven't suggested to him to see you, but I'll tell him soon. I love you. Write back!_

_Love,_

_Lily_

Mr. Evans smiled. Lily acted like her mother so much, and he was so proud to be able to say she was his daughter.

_Now, I can't wait to meet this James Potter._

Mr. Evans chuckled to himself, but soon began coughing violently. He needed to rest.

_I'll write to her later._

With that he closed his eyes.

…

Lily's POV

Many people argue that there is no such thing as true love, soul mates, but I prefer to believe differently. I believe there really is such a thing as true love. I really do believe life gives everyone a partner to love and to cherish, but it is their job to find them. I've found mine, James.

I haven't been with him long, but the time I've spent with him are special to me be on your belief. Maybe he'll always hold a very special place in my heart because of the journey we've been through together or maybe because he taught me something about myself that I couldn't learn without him there to guide me.

He taught me to love myself and to appreciate who I really am. He taught me to embrace the fact that sure I'm not perfect, but that people love me because of who I am, even with my flaws. With his love he boosted my self confidence and self esteem. With his love he taught me to allow myself to say goodbye to my low self confidence and embrace the fact that even though I'm not perfect, to him, I was, and, to him, I am his angel.

A/n: It's so sad! It's over, I can't believe it. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it!

**IMPORTANT:** I thank all of my readers for their support and advice, etc. I hope you guys will continue reading my other stories. I really do want to list all my reviewers, but it's late and there's school tomorrow. So… please leave a review and I'll personally answer to all of them and thank you in the reply!


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